Angry Guy: Fuck New England. Fuck people from Boston. Fuck Pats’ fans, fuck Red Sox fans, fuck Ben Affleck, fuck Denis Leary, fuck Harvard, fuck MIT, fuck Aerosmith, fuck the Pixies, fuck David Foster Wallace, fuck Boston Cream pie and clam chowder and Sam Adams, fuck Dr. Spock, fuck pahking your cah in Hahvahd Yahd, fuck Sacco and Vanzetti, fuck Paul Revere, fuck ’em all.
–Borough Park
Mother: Okay. The museum is either over there (points across the street) or over there (points back into the park).
Daughter: I don't think the museum is in the park, mom.
Mother: Who says that's the park?
–Central Park
Overheard by: J-Rabs
Middle aged woman: And I smoked weed, like, ever day last summer.
Daughter: I'm shocked, mom.
Middle aged woman: Oh, so you thought I was fun naturally?
–Central Park
Excited bro #1: Dude! There it is! There's the dog I was talking about!
Excited bro #2: You were right! It's so big! It's like a horse! I want to sit on it!
Man with Great Dane: Stop following me!
–Washington Square Park
Teenage Guy: Hahaha, I just put my sac on your arm!
Teenage Girl: What the fuck do you think gives you the right to do that?
Teenage Guy: Well, we’re dating, aren’t we?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Snow White
Girl: It’s not that I’m not attracted to you, it’s just that I’m not as into sex as you are.
Guy: That’s bullshit — you’re only 22 and you’ve fucked 24 people. You are definitely into sex.
Children from school bus directly next to the couple, all leaning out the window: Seeex!
–Irving & Eldert, Bushwick
Overheard by: alex
Kid #1: Yo, I’m going to hit that raw.
Kid #2: Do you have sperm yet?
Kid #1: Nah, but I’ll still hit it raw.
–Tompkins Square Park
Little girl #1: Don't push me! You shouldn't push! It's rude!
Little girl #2: I did not push you!
Little girl #3: I'm the third party! I didn't do anything!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: The 4th party
Guy #1: I’ve been thinking about getting a fez, rocking a fez, you know?
Guy #2: Man, you’d get that shit knocked right off your head. Fucking Shriners…
Guy #3: Maybe you can get one of those little cars, too. And a monkey.
–Madison Square Park
Girls looking at pictures: He was mad fat, but he was a good ass baby.
–Uptown A Train
Guy walking through sea of sun bathers: There aren't even that many fat people here… That's good.
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Guy on cell: You're not skinny fat, no.
–East Village
Guy on cell phone: You mean you're not going to fatso's wedding!
–N Train
Overheard by: wasn't even invited
Female suit: Why the hell does Weight Watchers have so many big fat people working in their offices, anyway? That's so not inspiring!
–40th & Madison Ave
Guy on phone: You mean the really nice one? She got big? What do you mean by big? (pause) Oh. Well, she has an exceptionally beautiful face, man. Do the right thing.
–9th & 15th
Overheard by: Courtney
