Hobo: You want to see the ugliest person…Look over there at the lady in the brown coat. Don’t look though, it could be scary. It’ll electrify ya. Scare ya stiff. That, my friends, is ugly.
–L train
Overheard by: Jess
Hobo: You want to see the ugliest person…Look over there at the lady in the brown coat. Don’t look though, it could be scary. It’ll electrify ya. Scare ya stiff. That, my friends, is ugly.
–L train
Overheard by: Jess
Man: Do you work or go to school?
JAP: I work.
Man: Really? Because you look young.
JAP: How old do you think I am?
Man: 19?
JAP: Do you really think you should be hitting on a 19 year old girl?
–Falucka, Bleecker Street
Woman #1: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Amy Fisher?
Woman #2: No.
Woman #1: Well, you do. I mean what she did was wrong and all, but she was a beautiful woman, so are you.
–6 train
Teen guy: You owe me a buck, I didn’t complain about gettin’ no ass all day.
Teen girl: How about a blowjob instead?
Teen guy: You serious?
Teen girl: Sure…
Teen guy: I bet you wouldn’t be good anyways. It’s a whole dollar.
Teen girl: Well, you missed out…
Teen guy: How about you come to my roof sometime?
Teen girl: Man-whore.
Teen guy: You can’t call me that, I haven’t gotten any ass in months.
Teen girl: Ha, ha. I get more ass than you!
–E train
Overheard by: teenagersarefunny
Girl: This is not going to happen. My mother taught me respect. I know you understand that. I do not give it out on the train. Not my name, not my number. You understand that.
Dude: Yeah, I hear you. I can respect that. Nothin’ but respect.
She gets off the train.
Dude: Man, I fucked way finer girls than that. I’m sayin’, I could’ve got off the train with her and fucked that bitch.
–4 train
Overheard by: DA
Old lady: No, Henry, trust me. You were never a fuck machine, and I certainly did know how to fake it.
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Marc Mitchell
Drunk guy: If you come in and dance with me, I’ll buy you a drink.
Sober girl: No, thanks. There’s a five dollar cover.
Drunk guy: If you come in and dance with me, I’ll give you five dollars.
Sober girl: I don’t dance.
Drunk guy: I think you’re hot.
Sober girl: I’m sorry…Watch out. You’re setting yourself on fire.
Drunk guy: I’m on fire for you, baby!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: djlindee
Drunk guy: Don’t you fuck with me!
Sober woman: What?
Drunk guy: You sleep with a different guy every night!
Sober woman: I do not. What are you talking about?
Drunk guy: You love…me. You want to marry…me.
Sober woman: This is ridiculous. I’ve had enough. I don’t have to take this anymore. Goodbye!
She leaves. He turns to the next table.
Drunk guy: Yeah, did you see that girl who just left? I just dumped her. Can I buy you two a drink?
–Rosie O’Grady’s, 7th Avenue
Hobo: So you two ladies want to go with me, I have a room at the Plaza?
Girl #1: No.
Hobo: Are you sure?
Girl #2: Please leave us alone.
Hobo: Okay, I’m a gentleman. See, I’m going to leave you alone. So will you come with me to the Plaza?
Girl #1: No.
Hobo: Okay. See I’m a gentleman, I’m going to leave you alone. You have a nice night.
Girl #1: Bye.
Hobo: Don’t fucking patronize me!
–32nd & 2nd
Man: You dropped something.
Teen girl: What?
Man: You dropped something.
Teen girl: No, I didn’t.
Man: Yeah, you did…You dropped my heart.
Teen girl: Well, pick it up and put it back in.
–90th between Columbus & Amsterdam
