Man #1: Man, all these stabbings and killings, man.
Man #2: Yeah.
Man #1: But you know, that’s every summer.
–Myrtle & Marcy, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Brendan Rogak
Man: The yogurt won’t fall. I’m straight.
Woman: You are straight!
Man: I am straight… now.
Woman: Thank god that’s over.
Man: Let’s get out of here before the whole thing collapses.
–Food Bazaar, Williamsburg
Russian driver: I don’t know, she stop right in front of me.
Cop: She just slammed on the brakes? Why did she do that?
Russian driver: I don’t know, light was yellow. You know, green is go, red is stop, yellow is go faster.
Cop: Sure, absolutely.
–21st Ave & 77th St, Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Joel
Woman: Damn, that Mexican is hungry.
Mexican with 10 bags: I’m the delivery boy, you dumb fuck.
–100th & Broadway
Overheard by: robby b
Guy #1: Hey. Is it hailing out?
Guy #2: Hail yeah!
Silence for a few seconds.
Guy #2: I said…
Guy #1: I heard you. Shut up.
–Joe’s Pizza, Carmine & 6th Ave
Overheard by: james clunie
Girl: Where’s the bathroom?
She tries to open the door to the conductor’s box.
Girl: Who’s in there? I have to use the bathroom!
–1 train uptown
Overheard by: jonathan renshon
Conductor: Local, this is a 7 local. 33rd Street next.
Loudspeaker: Attention Flushing-bound 7 train. You are not a local. You are an express train. Your next stop is 61st-Woodside. Now let the people in and close your doors.
–Queensboro Plaza 7 station
Overheard by: and hearts semicolon
Girl: Do you ever think about us? Like, how many more of us there are than of you?
Professor guy: Of course. That’s why I always pack heat.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Jeff
Guy: Yeah, that’s the first thing I learned when I moved here: don’t eat street meat, it’s probably pigeon or something.
Girl #1: Yeah, I wish I could get my husband to stop eating it.
Girl #2: I don’t care what kind of meat it is as long as it’s in my mouth.
Girl #1: That’s my sister; she’s looking for a hook-up.
Girl #2: No, I’m not!
Guy: I’m married.
–Irving Plaza, Irving Place
Overheard by: Johnny Tremain
