Little boy, to passerby: That’s why I ejaculated in your mom’s nose!
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Chick: See, I don’t like the idea of drinking semen not directly from the cock.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
Little boy, to passerby: That’s why I ejaculated in your mom’s nose!
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Chick: See, I don’t like the idea of drinking semen not directly from the cock.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
Guy: I’m in love!
Girl: Awwww.
Guy: With marijuana.
Girl: Oh.
–18th & 10th
Overheard by: John K
Girl: I was like, “High school is over. I can’t wait to get away from everyone!” And then, thanks to you, I actually realized that I might miss some people. You, James*, Gabrielle*, Dave V.*, Karen G.*!
Guy: But all of us except James are going to St. John’s, and he’s coming here to Queens.
Girl: But Gabrielle is going to Jersey! Everyone knows that once you go to Jersey, your soul dies.
–Queens College campus
Overheard by: Peter G.
Suit #1: It just feels…weird.
Suit #2: Spongy.
Suit #1: Yeah.
–19th & 5th
Overheard by: I don’t even want to know
Man: Wow, you’re here already? That was quick.
Woman: Yeah, if I was Adam Sandler I would have said, “That was click!”
–West 44th St
Overheard by: Tomer Langberg
Six young guys are trying to check into the Hotel Chelsea late on Saturday night of Pride Weekend.
Desk clerk: Two beds for four men, not six! Not six men for two beds. [Pause] That’s a different hotel!
–Hotel Chelsea, W. 23rd St
College girl: Oh. Did you use to ride horses as a kid?
Jappy guy: No. I’m just rich
–12th & 5th
Overheard by: Mehler
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’ve been having the shittiest day today. No, it has nothing to do with our conversation this morning. Listen, believe it or not, I can have a shitty day that has nothing to do with you…Ugh, I have no idea why I called you. [hangs up] My fucking dad. I can’t even get a sympathy “it’s all rainbows and bunnies” phone-hug from him!
–Union Square W & 15th
Overheard by: someone who knows how she feels
