Girl #1: Yo, all these places are Greek. Owned by people who are Greek, ya know?
Girl #2: That means they’re from the Middle East, right? Like Yugoslavia and shit.
–28th & Steinway, Astoria
Overheard by: Gregorio
Girl #1: Yo, all these places are Greek. Owned by people who are Greek, ya know?
Girl #2: That means they’re from the Middle East, right? Like Yugoslavia and shit.
–28th & Steinway, Astoria
Overheard by: Gregorio
Chick: Then he peer-pressured me into being morbidly obese!
–1 train
Girl on cell: Nothing’s bigger than Oprah, not even my mother’s ass!
–Ocean Pkwy and Neptune Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ilysse Weisenfeld
Dude with flyers: New York Sports Club! Only 37 dollars! Get yo’ fat ass to the gym!
–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn
Overheard by: elwood
Little boy: Mommy, I’m sick of all the fat girls in Coney Island.
–Queens Center Mall
Walking VD: It’s not cheating if she’s fat.
–Outside Jugo Juice, Times Square
Teen girl on cell: Ugh, great. Now she’s just going to make fun of me because I’m short and fat! Oh my God!
–Q46 bus
Overheard by: Melissa
Woman: My name is Mrs. Williams*, and I am selling stuffed animals for the Happy Family organization. We believe in the sanctity of family and abstinence before marriage.
Queer: You’re talking to the wrong people.
Woman: Oh, you’re college students. I thought you were a Christian youth group or something.
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Brian R
20-Something #1: My roommate was this die-hard Christian.
20-Something #2: Born again?
20-Something #1: No, just regular.
20-Something #2: What’s the difference?
Pause.
20-Something #1: I don’t really know.
20-Something #2: My first roommate was, too. She liked this one lady, Joyce Meyers.
20-Something #1: I didn’t know that women could be priestesses in the Catholic religion.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: jtango
Guy: Yo, Katie, why do you always gotta look at me like I just looked at your ass or somethin’?
Katie: Well, because most of the time you usually are!
–Cheap Shots, 1st Ave between 9th & St.Mark’s
Overheard by:
Little boy, to passerby: That’s why I ejaculated in your mom’s nose!
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Chick: See, I don’t like the idea of drinking semen not directly from the cock.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
Guy: I’m in love!
Girl: Awwww.
Guy: With marijuana.
Girl: Oh.
–18th & 10th
Overheard by: John K
Girl: I was like, “High school is over. I can’t wait to get away from everyone!” And then, thanks to you, I actually realized that I might miss some people. You, James*, Gabrielle*, Dave V.*, Karen G.*!
Guy: But all of us except James are going to St. John’s, and he’s coming here to Queens.
Girl: But Gabrielle is going to Jersey! Everyone knows that once you go to Jersey, your soul dies.
–Queens College campus
Overheard by: Peter G.
