Politics

Mid-30s casual man to woman: Obama is our modern-day political Jesus Christ. He will save us.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: babybug

(little boy and mother pass bake sale)
Little boy: I wanna cookie! I wanna cookie! Can we please get a cookie?
Mother: You don’t want those cookies.
Little boy: What’s wrong with them?
Mother: Those are Democrat cookies.

Bake Sale for Obama Campaign
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jamie

Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don’t we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?

Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: drunkbigirls

Woman #1: The Democrats were bound to lose the House majority, though… Oh, did you hear about David?
Woman #2: What about him?
Woman #1: Well, he recently came out.
Woman #2: Oh my god! As a Democrat?

University of North Texas

Girl in uniform: So when I went to pick up my uniform there were no skirts. So my mom was like “My daughter needs bottoms.”
Friend: That sucks!
Girl in uniform: Yeah, the skirt I’m wearing now belongs to this girl who was deported to Trinidad.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Myr

Old lady: Look at that cheese–such a pretty color! Like one of Hillary Clinton's pantsuits.

Santa Rita Cantina
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Katie

Janeane Garofalo incarnate, walking past adult bookstore: What more does a feminist need than dildos and books?

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: A. N. Cargo

Jewish student, about another: Every time we talk about the holocaust she, like, throws her Jew out and spins a dreidel with it or whatever.

SUNY
Geneseo, New York

Overheard by: Jeni

Black girl to another black girl wearing Obama t-shirt: Girl, what is that on your shirt? Mmmm, Obama is looking all fine up on your chest.

UNC
Greensboro, North Carolina

Girl #1: How come the pigeons don’t die when they hop on that third rail?
Girl #2: Because they’re Dick Cheney’s unholy army of the night.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: I’m glad I couldn’t vote back then