Guy: Don’t let guys buy your drinks.
Group of girls: Why not?
Guy: Because they’ll put something in your drink. That shit happened to my ex-wife and next thing I know i’m paying child support every other Tuesday!
–N train, Astoria
Overheard by: nick judge
Girl #1: This isn’t ice tea…
Girl #2: Right. There’s no ice in it. The difference between ice tea and tea is that ice tea is cold.
Girl #1: This is cold.
Girl #2: Then it’s ice tea.
Girl #1: But that’s not the difference.
Girl #2: That’s unsweetened ice tea.
Girl #1: Then it’s tea.
–Bay Terrace Shopping Center, Queens
Guy: [something in Spanish]… how do you say “altar boy”? You know, the ones whose little dicks the priest sucks?
–7th & Ave A
Overheard by: Jenny B
Dude: I’ve fired 3 people in the last 2 weeks. One girl was fat. But she didn’t know it. She would come into work with her belly falling out of her shirt. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
–NYSC, 38th & Broadway
Overheard by: Aimee
Black man: Why’d you do that? Throwing that money at me. You’re stupid. Here, give it to me…You’re stupid. Why did you throw the money at me?
Cashier guy: I set it down! I didn’t throw it.
Black man: You’re stupid!
Manager guy: Why do you have to make it personal?
Black man: Mind your own business.
–Citgo, Long Island City
Dude: So you gonna give me some fuckin’ money? Give me some fuckin money! I don’t have two quarters to rub together; I can’t
even call my wife. Give me some fuckin’ money!
Lawyer man: I’m not going to give you any money.
Dude: Give me some fuckin’ money! You are my sister! I have no money!
Woman: I’m not giving you any money when you are acting like a criminal.
Restaurant guy: Sir, you need to calm down or I will have to call the police.
Dude: Don’t tell me what to fucking do. I just got out of Rikers Island!
Restaurant guy: Well sir, do you want to go back there? You need to leave or take the conversation outside.
–Pasta Lovers, Kew Gardens
Overheard by: Amanda
Drunk girl: I’m not that drunk. I hate how when I only get a little drunk I still slur words.
–Astoria
Suit on cell: Why would I lie to you? When have I ever lied to you? Listen, you and I both know there are “no nice little neighborhoods” in Queens!
–11th Street & 4th Avenue
Overheard by: jayKayEss
Woman on cell: Hold on, I have to juggle, I’m pushing a stroller, walking the dog and holding a big bag of poop.
–189th & Broadway
Drunk girl: What kind of guys do you like?…What kind of guys do you like? I like guys with big tits.
–2nd Avenue & 11th Street
Overheard by: vegantoast
