Just Be Glad It Wasn’t Blackface

(goth chick runs down the street shrieking, followed by her hipster-chick friend with tiger face paint)
Young black girl #1: What’s happening?
Young black girl #2: Yeah, what’s with all the crazy white people?

–St Marks & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Tigertail

Headline by: chrissmari

Runners-Up:
· “How Young Oprah Got the Idea for Her Show” – Doug
· “Let’s Go Back to Harlem Where It’s Safe” – Caitlin
· “Obama Better Fix That Shit His First Day” – Steve J
· “The Little-Known Eighth Sign Of the Apocalypse” – samson
· “Wait Until You Meet Dennis Rodman” – Aussie_Girl

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on July 14, 2008
Black People, Girls, Headline Contest Winners, Questions, Race, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Ever Try to Milk a Raging Bull?

Hipster #1: Why don’t they make cat cheese? You can milk anything with nipples.
Hipster #2: Why don’t they make Robert De Niro cheese?

–Franklin Avenue Shuttle

Posted on July 14, 2008
About Celebrities, Animals & Nature, Brooklyn, Default, Diet/Weight, Food, Hipsters, Nipples, On the Subway, Questions

Fat Is Made of Denial, Not Cupcakes

(two girls standing in line)
Girl #1(with two cupcakes): I can justify buying two because I walk here and walk home.
Girl #2: Are you walking home tonight?
Girl #3: No.

–Magnolia Bakery

Posted on July 14, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Diet/Weight, Food, Girls, Grocery Stores, Manhattan, Questions

I Do Birthday Parties and Bar Mitzvahs

Tall scraggle-tooth guy with eye patch, in hoarse creepy voice: Do you like balloon animals? I like balloon animals!
Startled passerby: What the fuck ass hell?

–6th Ave & W 8th St

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on July 14, 2008
Animals & Nature, Default, Guys, Questions, Strangers, The Village, Weirdness

A Kind of Inner Didgeridoo

(crazy woman talking to self)
Guy sitting next to her: Sorry, did you say something?
Crazy woman: No, I have an ear piercing.
Guy: Oh, in the other ear?
Crazy woman: No, this one (points to the ear closest to him). It’s all the way inside my ear. It’s Australian.

–Jane St & Greenwich Ave

Posted on July 13, 2008
Body Parts, Crazies, Crazy, Default, Guys, Questions, Strangers, Weirdness, West Village, Women

Unless You’ve Got a Better One for Me, If You Know What I Mean

Kid #1: You may as well go. What are you gonna do if you don’t, go home and jerk it?
Kid #2: That’s the plan!
Random black guy walking by: I hope that’s not the plan.
Kid #2 (looking embarrassed): Well… that’s a plan.

–Joralemon Street

Posted on July 13, 2008
Black People, Brooklyn, Default, Guys, Kids, Masturbation, Questions

To Be Fair, Sir, You Do Look Like You Swallowed Another Person

(man and woman arguing with a foreigner)
Foreigner: How many passenger?
Man: Two.
Foreigner: Three?
Man: No, two.
Foreigner: Three?
Man: Two! Two! (holds up two fingers) Me and her! (points to the woman)
Foreigner: Ah. Three!
Man: Jesus fucking Christ, where did you come from?

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: Angie

Posted on July 13, 2008
Anger Management, Default, Foreigners, JFK Airport, Language Barrier, Men, Questions, Words

Tourist Season Is New York’s Hunting Season

Conductor: Attention, passengers. This is the last stop on this N train. For service to Brooklyn, please exit and take the R train. Again…
Tourist: Wait, is this the N train?
Passenger: Yes.
Tourist: Does the N train go to Brooklyn?
Passenger: Yes.
Tourist: Does this train go to Brooklyn?
Passenger, exiting: No.

–N Train

Overheard by: Still searching for the logical flaw

Posted on July 12, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Directions, On the Subway, Only in New York, Public Transportation, Questions, Strangers, Subway conductors, Tourism, Tourists

The Little Mermaid Had Trouble Adjusting to College Life

Girl #1: I know “impactful” isn’t a word, but what would be a word that means that?
Girl #2: Hold on, I’m coming over there. I can’t think in the air.

–9th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Laguna

Posted on July 12, 2008
Default, Girls, Questions, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Words

Noxema: Shrug Any Press Is Good Press.

Large 20-something tough-looking man: Dude, you have bags under your eyes, are you okay?
Large 20-something man: Yeah man, I’m just tired.
Large 20-something tough-looking man: Dude, I’m going to take you over to Duane Reade. We are going to get you this great stuff -it’s called Noxema! You just put some on your eyes before you go to bed and your bags will disappear!”

–A Train

Posted on July 12, 2008
Advice, Default, Men, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions

Questions