Tourist to desk clerk: We are looking for some good authentic Mexican food, do you recommend the little place next door?
Desk clerk: No, if you want real Mexican food, there’s a Chipotle around the corner.
–Comfort Inn, Times Square
Tourist to desk clerk: We are looking for some good authentic Mexican food, do you recommend the little place next door?
Desk clerk: No, if you want real Mexican food, there’s a Chipotle around the corner.
–Comfort Inn, Times Square
Wall Street guy #1: So I was watching A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila and my son asked: “Dad, what’s a lesbian?” I mean, I wish I could tell him about it when he’s ready.
Wall Street guy #2: Yeah, so anyway. They have these only boys and only girls birthday parties for the little kids down at Fire Island…
Wall Street guy #1: So you think the parties turn them into lesbians?
Wall Street guy #2: No, I’m just trying to segue into talking about something other than… (looks around train suspiciously) lesbians.
–Downtown 6 Train
13-year-old girl: Oh my god, you and Isabel have a new inside joke?
Friend: Oh my god, you check my Facebook wall like everyday, don’t you?
13-year-old girl: Yeah, I do. Didn’t you see that I sent you a new bumper sticker? It says “I respect your sluttiness.”
–Darkened Bathroom, Bat Mitzvah Party
Puppeteer: Do you know who Benjamin Franklin is?
Little boy: There’s no such thing as Benjamin Franklin!
–McDonald’s, 9th Street, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ian
Tourist wife (looking at map): Avenue of the Americas… That’s the one with all the stars and the handprints in the cement, right?
Tourist husband (with a tone of superiority): No, that’s Broadway.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Caroline
Souvenir photographer: Please step down, ma’am. We are taking photos of everyone before we board.
Passenger: Is this in case I die?
–Pier 83
Random woman: I’m a well known prostitute here in New York.
Random man: Oh really? You’re well-known around here?! Says who?!
Random woman: Ask anyone!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: Paula
Asian girl #1: Yeah, did you know that Hallmark just like, made up Valentine’s Day? Seriously, there really was no Saint Mark… I mean, Saint Nicholas.
Asian girl #2: Umm, Saint Nicholas was Christmas.
Asian girl #1: Well, whatever his name was. He’s really Hallmark.
–NYU
Overheard by: erin
Homeless guy: Fuck Gary Cicbdman!
Dude #1: Did he just say Gary Oldman or Gary Coleman?
Dude #2: Does it matter? Either way he’s fucking nuts.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: brad
Woman, after knocking over and resetting a large display: Hey, was it set up like this before?
Man behind cash register, counting cash: Oh, I don’t know, I don’t even work here.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: pete
