Guy: Um, are you disappointed that I don’t have tits?
Girl: I mean, a little.
Guy: Why? You looking to suckle?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
Guy: Um, are you disappointed that I don’t have tits?
Girl: I mean, a little.
Guy: Why? You looking to suckle?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
Vendor guy: Just buy it! Come on…
Tourist guy: Chill out, we’re thinking.
Vendor guy: All right, all right. Half price? All right? Half price, now will ya just buy it?
Tourist guy: Half? How come?
Vendor guy: Because it’s fucking 30 degrees, man, it’s cold, I wanna
go home! Buy it!
–Whitehall & State
Promoter guy: Do you guys like comedy?
Girl #1: We hate laughter.
Girl #2: Sunshine and happiness too.
–Union Square
Eliza Dushku: How much for these two?
Jewelry guy: $15.
Eliza Dushku: Can I get them for ten?
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Lily
Old lady: They are going to strike? They should put up signs fuckers! I see you looking at me you skinny bitch, fuck you.
Conductor: The doors are closing.
Old lady: Can’t put up signs but the fucker is telling me the doors are closing.
–F train
Hobo: Don’t worry about the strike, we’ll all fly to work! Flap our wings and fly!
–14th & 7th
Guy: I was there at the strike in 1980; I remember it well. It went on for two weeks. Of course, they could never have it that long now. The population of the city has doubled since 1980.
–Bowling Green station
Overheard by: greek goddess
Conductor: Shit, I’ll get nasty right now. I’ll pull the brakes, see how they like that.
–1 train
Overheard by: Priscilla Castillo
Tween boy: So how’s the strike going?
Bus driver: If there was a strike I wouldn’t be here, you moron.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Sara’s Hot
Woman: C’mon, please move into the train.
Guy: Would you like to crawl into my asshole?
–1 train, 34th Street station
Guido: Why don’t you get a real job?
Meter maid: I got a real job. And I give real tickets.
–Sheepshead Bay
Overheard by: Dan Hughes
Girl: Yep. That’s a big ass tree all right.
Guy: Mm-hmm.
Girl: Yeah, okay, great, big ass tree. I’m freezing, can we go to Starbucks now?
–Rockefeller Center
Girl: I am glad you don’t think she’s prettier than me.
Guy: What? She is like, trailer trash.
Girl: No, she’s really pretty.
Guy: What are you talking about? She is some lady they found in the parking lot by the garbage. They were like, “Hey lady, we will give you $20 to do this.”
Girl: …she is like, the American standard of beauty.
Guy: She is a dumpster-diving prostitute!
–Access Digital Theatres, Prospect Park
Overheard by: matt stohrer
Guy: Can I just say, maybe Zorro shouldn’t be the first American movie you see.
–83rd & Broadway
Little boy: Why didn’t Harry Potter just take a shotgun and blow that guy’s head off?
–Loews Kips Bay Theatre, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Mark Schilsky
Girl #1: Shh! I can’t hear what he’s saying!
Girl #2: Bitch, you read the book already!
–DGA Theater, West 57th Street
Black chick #1: Girl, he so fine.
Black chick #2: Mmm…
Queer: Yes, we all know he’s fine, but shut the fuck up!
–AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Scott Hoffman
Girl: So for the last half-hour of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants I couldn’t stop crying. Then everybody in the theater turned around and laughed at me.
–Waverly & Mercer
Overheard by: Stu
Guy #1: You still fixing vans for that production house?
Guy #2: Yeah, I even got in a movie. Check me out in Prime; it’s with Uma Thurman. I’m in it for like 20 seconds playing basketball on the street with a red do-rag. I was like 30 pounds heavier then; I just got out of jail.
–DMV, Greenwich Street
Overheard by: Anthony Bloodsucker
Black woman: All these assholes going to the movies…Lowest common denominator!
–Loews Lincoln Square ladies’ room, West 68th Street
Overheard by: Amanda K
Girl: I heard there’s an Asian girl in the new Harry Potter.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So they are branching out.
Guy: Yeah…but she is kinda big.
–Beard Papa’s, Broadway & Astor
Overheard by: sim choo
Girl: I am dating two different guys with kids and no one will take me to see Harry Potter. Now that‘s fucked up.
–Eatery, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Mike
Suit: I think you would really like As Good As It Gets.
Woman: Is that the one with Jennifer Aniston?
Suit: No, it’s Helen Keller.
–75th & 3rd
Overheard by: Aaron Hotfelder
Little girl: What I don’t get is why Majestic stabbed Fifty. He already shot him like 9 times.
Little boy: Majestic didn’t stab Fifty! He got his boy to stab Fifty for him, and he did it because Fifty was still alive.
Little girl: I couldn’t survive 9 shots. I could barely survive a half.
–1 train
