Doorman #1: You know what I get to do with her? Besides cuddle, I mean. You know what I do?
Doorman #2: What?
Doorman #1: I get to expose my penis to her.
–43rd & 5th
Doorman #1: You know what I get to do with her? Besides cuddle, I mean. You know what I do?
Doorman #2: What?
Doorman #1: I get to expose my penis to her.
–43rd & 5th
Girl #1: We only fucked for like 2 minutes.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: He has ADD.
Girl #2: Is that, like, when the person has more than one personality?
Girl #1: No, I wish. Role playing would be a lot easier.
–Hunter College North-West bridge
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Guy #1: You don’t have one gay relative?
Guy #2: Well, maybe my junkie cousin.
–7th Street & 2nd Avenue
Girl: What about that one ugly girl?
Guy: Man, she is so ugly. I would not touch that shit.
Girl: But you already fucked her!
Guy: Yeah, but it was only once. And I used a rubber.
Guy: You’re an ugly cheating cocksucking whore; you’re a fucking ugly slut. But you know why I stay with you? We have compatible personalities.
Guy: I hate that bitch. I want to fuck her in the ass.
Girl: But baby, you like to fuck me in the ass.
Guy: Yeah baby, but you like it when I fuck you in the ass.
Girl: Yeah, it doesn’t hurt so bad when you remember to breathe.
Girl: So when we get married are you gonna stop fucking my sister?
Guy: But I’ve been fucking her for a while now…It’s like a habit.
–Olive Garden, Times Square
Overheard by: helen r.
Guy #1: Why you wanna fuck wit dat shit?
Guy #2: You are stupid, nigga! ‘Cause it’s safe to sell without a handgun.
–A train
Guy: Um, are you disappointed that I don’t have tits?
Girl: I mean, a little.
Guy: Why? You looking to suckle?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram
Vendor guy: Just buy it! Come on…
Tourist guy: Chill out, we’re thinking.
Vendor guy: All right, all right. Half price? All right? Half price, now will ya just buy it?
Tourist guy: Half? How come?
Vendor guy: Because it’s fucking 30 degrees, man, it’s cold, I wanna
go home! Buy it!
–Whitehall & State
Promoter guy: Do you guys like comedy?
Girl #1: We hate laughter.
Girl #2: Sunshine and happiness too.
–Union Square
Eliza Dushku: How much for these two?
Jewelry guy: $15.
Eliza Dushku: Can I get them for ten?
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Lily
Old lady: They are going to strike? They should put up signs fuckers! I see you looking at me you skinny bitch, fuck you.
Conductor: The doors are closing.
Old lady: Can’t put up signs but the fucker is telling me the doors are closing.
–F train
Hobo: Don’t worry about the strike, we’ll all fly to work! Flap our wings and fly!
–14th & 7th
Guy: I was there at the strike in 1980; I remember it well. It went on for two weeks. Of course, they could never have it that long now. The population of the city has doubled since 1980.
–Bowling Green station
Overheard by: greek goddess
Conductor: Shit, I’ll get nasty right now. I’ll pull the brakes, see how they like that.
–1 train
Overheard by: Priscilla Castillo
Tween boy: So how’s the strike going?
Bus driver: If there was a strike I wouldn’t be here, you moron.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Sara’s Hot
