The Wednesday One-liners Class Struggle

Hipster girl: She was all, “Yeah, Betsy is my best friend,” and I was like, “Best friend? That is so fucking bourgeois.”

–L train

Girl: I know you made it. Look at you. You got a BlackBerry. Yeah, you made it. You got that good-smelling leather.

–Elevator, 12th & 5th

Overheard by: Thirsty Violet

Professor lady: Yes, we’ll be going into debt a lot as the semester goes on.

–Parsons School of Design

Overheard by: Ray

Teen boy: Anyone on this train wanna buy some candy? It’s not for a basketball team or something, it’s for me so I can buy more candy.

–2 train

Overheard by: Sarah

Intercom: Please take a headset before you get on the plane, because they’re free now. They’re actually free once you get on the plane, but I charge $50 labor for bringing them to you once you’re on. So it’s in your best interests to take one now. Can you tell I’m a happy person?

–LaGuardia

Chick: I’m not even gonna try applying for a Gap card; they’ll never give it to me. I don’t know what it is about Gap; they always know if you have bad credit.

–The Gap, 34th & Broadway

Overheard by: Dianora

Tween boy: What do you mean, I can’t get anything? I’m the one with a job.

–Key Food, Park Slope

Overheard by: Shack

Posted on February 15, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Blackberry, Business and Commerce, Clothing, Education, Friendship, Gripes, Jobs & Careers, Junk Food & Fast Food, Money & Class, Names, Offers and requests, Politics, Questions, Scents of the City, School and studying, Shopping, Stupidity, Time, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary, Words

“I only kneel for Christ.”

Girl: Do you smell that? Smells like straight up pussy in this bitch.
Guy: I wouldn’t know.
Girl: What do you mean you wouldn’t know? It’s pussy.
Guy: I wouldn’t know. I’m gay.
Girl: Damn, son. So what does dick smell like?
Guy: Wouldn’t you know? I mean when you get on your knees?

–M14D bus

Overheard by: Janelle Someone

Posted on January 26, 2006
Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, On the Bus, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, Scents of the City, Talking/Convos, Vagina

My Friend in Atlanta Breeds Them for Sale

Guy: My dog is so racist. She is scared of black people. But she also hates the black people of dogs.
Girl: What does that even mean?
Guy: Pugs.

–33rd & 8th

Posted on January 23, 2006
Girls, Guys, Man's Best Friend, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions, Race, Weirdness

Wednesday One-liners Aren’t a Perfect Fit

Waitress: I just don’t get it. Like, how can you be infatuated with me when you don’t even know me?

–Deluxe, 112th & Broadway

Posted on January 18, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Horny, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Waitresses, Words

“…I didn’t have to chop it down.”

Girl: …so I used to buy my drugs from a guy who would keep them in his prosthetic leg.
Guy: You mean his stump? Didn’t that freak you out, having his stump all on your blow?
Girl: No.

–23rd & 9th

Overheard by: jose angel araguz

Posted on January 15, 2006
Body Parts, Business and Commerce, Druggies, Drugs, Girls, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Weirdness

At Least Then She Knew Which Student Was Leaving Her the Fish Heads

Philosophy professor: So you can see how the The Lord of the Rings did have some truths in it. Now, what was the ring called again, didn't it have a name or something? What was that?
Student, seriously: The precious.

–Fordham Lincoln Center

Headline by: Anna M

Runners-Up:
· “And, for Extra Credit: “What Has It Got in Its Pocketses?”” – Duncan Pflaster
· “Filthy Stupid Studentses!!!” – Parker
· “I Just Gollum Like I See ’em.” – sp
· “No, I Meant Its Elven Name” – MLL
· “The Professors Like Them Raw and Wriggling Here” – Alex
· “The Rest Of the Class Just Had to Learn to Tolerate the Smell Of Dead Fish and Dirty Loincloth” – James

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on January 15, 2006
Fordham, Headline Contest Winners, Movies, Names, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Peter Jackson Only Does Documentaries

Guy: This remake of King Kong was a good movie; did you ever see the
original?
Girl: Yeah, I didn’t know it was a true story.

–42nd & 8th

Posted on January 14, 2006
Girls, Guys, Idiots, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Pop Culture, Questions, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

Flight of the Conchords Has Made This Game Tougher for Everyone.

White woman: Hi, are you Jermaine?
White male nurse: Do I look like a Jermaine to you?

–ER, Columbia Presbyterian

Overheard by: Ann

Headline by: Jared Rizzi

Runners-Up:
· “He’s Already Calling Himself Jasmine Before the Sex-Change Has Even Started.” – johnny-G
· “I’m Michael, Dammit!” – davey j.
· “My Name Tag Clearly Reads “Michael Jackson: Pediatrics”” – Matt T.
· “No, But How Many Male Nurses Are on Staff Here?” – Mike Duh Medic
· “You Look More Like an Asshole, but I Thought I’d Give You the Benefit Of the Doubt” – I never win

Click here to see the new Headline Contest