B&T girl: I am going to ask you one more fucking time and then things between us are over. Give me one fucking cigarette!
Boyfriend takes out one cigarette and throws it on the sidewalk.
B&T girl: Thank you!
–33rd St & Third Ave
Overheard by: HelloClairice
Girl #1: So I'm hooking up with two guys named Nick…bad idea.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: Well I gave Nick #2 my number and I got a text from someone who I thought was Nick #2. Turns out it was Nick #1 all along.
Girl #2: What happened?
Girl #1: So I went to Nick #2's house, assuming it was him from the text. I got there, and it's two girls sitting in the bed, Nick's friend and Nick, all in pajamas. Nick #2 pulls me aside, asks what I'm doing there, and I showed him the texts. It wasn't him, it was Nick #1, from his friends phone.
Girl #2: Looks like you're back to just one Nick now!
–Metro North, Stanford Line
Overheard by: Girl 3
Girl #1: Do you think I'm a loser?
Girl #2: What? No. Why?
Girl #1: I haven't gotten laid in like five months.
Girl #2: There's a guy traveling cross country to fuck you! I don't have that.
Girl #1: You got fucked by a porn star! More than once! And she wants to do it again!
Girl #2: We'll it's not like she's flying cross country just for that.
Girl #1: Have you asked her? She might.
Girl #2: Yeah right, I can't even get my girlfriend to come in from Jersey.
Girl #1: (pause) Ewww. Who wants to be in Jersey.
–Elephant & Castle, West Village
Man #1: You have a girlfriend?
Man #2: Yes.
Man #1: She knows you're gay?
Man #2: Yes.
–Financial District
Teen girl #1: So, my boyfriend told me that if I didn’t have sex with him, he’d break up with me. So I did, but then he broke up with me anyway. I don’t understand!
Teen girl #2: Well, maybe you were really bad at it.
–43rd & 7th
Girl #1: And then he said that when he sees people, he likes to picture what kind of dog they’d be. Apparently I’m a Golden Retriever, and he’s a German Shepherd, and those breeds just don’t mix.
Gril #2: That is fucking messed up.
Girl #1: I know! He is so delusional! And he would so not be a German Shepherd.
Girl #2: No. (long pause) I wonder what type I’d be.
–Starbucks, 103rd & Broadway
College boy: Why was sex always a problem between us?
College girl: Well, some people think that sex is negotiable. I don't.
–F Train
Girl to boyfriend: Your idea of romance is an 8-ball and trying to get a hard-on!
–12th & Broadway
Preppy girl: Nothing turns me on like carbon monoxide!
–Lucky Jack's
Overheard by: Argopelter
Excited suit: He came out of the womb with a woody!
–1st Ave & 10th
Overheard by: moodle
Girl on cell: I heart you like an erection!
–34th & 2nd
Jock/pretty boy: Dude, I don't know why but she'd always give me boners in the middle of class.
–St Marks & 2nd Ave
Chick: It's all erections and prostates, erections and prostates! Could we have our check, please?
–Arctica Bar & Grill, 3rd Ave & 27th St
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl: Thank you.
Guy: For what?
Girl: For being you.
Guy: Can't you be more specific? I thank you for sex.
–24rd St & 3rd Ave
NYU dude: You can’t flirt. That’s you’re problem.
NYU chick: Whatever. I have wit and charm. You’ve got a picture of Tom Hanks over your bed.
–NYU
Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual
