Do They Make a Glade Plug-In for Wednesday One-Liners?

Little girl, running along platform: Mommy! Mommy! Slow down! Mommy, it smells like penis in here!

–Grand Central

Girl to another: Do you have a hand wipe? I totally smell like rape right now.

–44th St & Broadway

Guy to friend: She said I smelled like shit and I said, "what like, asshole?"

–59th St & Lexington

Girl on phone: Your hands smell like what? Your hands smell like urine? Why would you say that?

–Brooklyn College

Hobo on overcrowded train: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Homeless Ed, and I am homeless, and I smell like shit. If any of you can spare some change so I can buy some deodorant, it would be greatly appreciated.

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: christopher james

Female grad student on cell: Have you ever done the inter-borough walk of shame smelling like penis?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Conductor: This is East Broadway station, and something smells yummy.

–F Train

Posted on August 8, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Brooklyn College, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Directions, Friends, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Hobos, Homeless, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Panhandling, Parents, Passengers, Pee, Penis, Poop, Public Transportation, Questions, Rape, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Students, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners

The Rickshaws Are Still on Strike

Chick #1: I hate taking subways. They’re so gross!
Chick #2: I know! So many dirty, smelly people. And it’s so expensive.
Chick #1: Yeah, $2 is a lot of money.
Guy: Yeah, well, if you can find someone else to cart your ass around this city for $2, be my guest.

–2 train

Overheard by: Mikey

Posted on August 2, 2015
Cleanliness, Gripes, Money & Class, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Scents of the City

Two More Great Tastes That Taste Great Together

20-ish chick: You smell like cheap wine.
20-ish friend: You smell like cheap slut!

–Regal Cinemas, Union Square

Overheard by: ouch.

Posted on July 29, 2015
Friends, Scents of the City, Theater

Wednesday One-Liners Are Enough to Gag a Maggot

Nurse to hobo next to her: Aw, hell no! You fucking stink! [She pulls out a can of air freshener and hoses him down.]

–A train

Asian kid to another: It’s hard and watery, and if my pockets reek of ass, I’ma kill you!

–D train, Brooklyn

Overheard by: sitting behind them

Little boy: Now I know why it smells like urine everywhere!

–Central Park

Man: It smells like an STD in here.

–E train

Irish lad: A man’s baseball cap should always stink a wee bit.

–U-Haul rental place, Broadway

Overheard by: Kerry

Posted on July 28, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Scents of the City, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

The Sequel to Clue Left a Lot to Be Desired

Hipster girl: Oh, by the way: why did your place smell like piss?
Hipster guy: Matt* got drunk and pissed everywhere last night.
Hipster girl: And when you say Matt* you mean you?
Hipster guy: Yeah, I might.

–Lorimer St

Posted on July 26, 2015
Brooklyn, Default, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Lies, Pee, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences

Rockette Auditions Are the Stuff Of Nightmare

Girl: It smells like vagina.
Guy: No, it smells like vaseline or something.
Girl: Really? It smells like ass.

–Radio City

Overheard by:

Posted on July 23, 2015
Ass, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Lube, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Theater, Vagina

It Has a Disproportionate Influence on Other Smells

Girl: Can you press 8, please?

The guy does so. The doors open to let him off on the 3rd floor, and the scent of hannukah latkes fills the elevator.

Girl: Smells like Judaism here.

–Elevator, Columbus between 95th & 96th

Overheard by: Jayson Littman

Posted on July 23, 2015
Elevators, Ethnic Food, Food, Holidays, Judaism, Manhattan, Places, Religion, Scents of the City, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues

Is There a Right Answer to This?

Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck?

–18th & 6th

Overheard by: Dana

Posted on July 12, 2015
Asshole, Backdoor, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Manhattan, People, Places, Private Parts, Queer guys, Queers, Scents of the City, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Topics

Oh Look, That Guy's Taking a Dump!

Tourist mom to kid: There's some weird smells around here…
Suit: Nah, that's New York you're smelling. Dog piss, hobos piss, hobos barf… Ah, the glory of the Great White Way.

–Times Square

Overheard by: i love new york.

Posted on July 11, 2015
Homeless, Kids, Man's Best Friend, Moms, Only in New York, Pee, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Suits, Times Square, Tourism, Tourists, Vomit, Weirdness

But We Wish to Meet Your Friend

Chick #1: Oh my god, her bathroom smelled so bad! Like feet!
Chick #2: Like vagina.
Chick #1: Like foot marinated in vagina! [They realize two guys are watching, bemused.]Guy with friend: Um… We don’t speak English.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: I actually know those girls

Posted on July 11, 2015
Columbia (& Barnard), Girls, Scents of the City

Scents of the City