Girl #1: Come on, smell it!
Girl #2: Why would I put my nose close to the poop in your hair?
–14th & Ave A
Girl #1: Come on, smell it!
Girl #2: Why would I put my nose close to the poop in your hair?
–14th & Ave A
Little girl, running along platform: Mommy! Mommy! Slow down! Mommy, it smells like penis in here!
–Grand Central
Girl to another: Do you have a hand wipe? I totally smell like rape right now.
–44th St & Broadway
Guy to friend: She said I smelled like shit and I said, "what like, asshole?"
–59th St & Lexington
Girl on phone: Your hands smell like what? Your hands smell like urine? Why would you say that?
–Brooklyn College
Hobo on overcrowded train: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Homeless Ed, and I am homeless, and I smell like shit. If any of you can spare some change so I can buy some deodorant, it would be greatly appreciated.
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: christopher james
Female grad student on cell: Have you ever done the inter-borough walk of shame smelling like penis?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Conductor: This is East Broadway station, and something smells yummy.
–F Train
Chick #1: I hate taking subways. They’re so gross!
Chick #2: I know! So many dirty, smelly people. And it’s so expensive.
Chick #1: Yeah, $2 is a lot of money.
Guy: Yeah, well, if you can find someone else to cart your ass around this city for $2, be my guest.
–2 train
Overheard by: Mikey
20-ish chick: You smell like cheap wine.
20-ish friend: You smell like cheap slut!
–Regal Cinemas, Union Square
Overheard by: ouch.
Nurse to hobo next to her: Aw, hell no! You fucking stink! [She pulls out a can of air freshener and hoses him down.]
–A train
Asian kid to another: It’s hard and watery, and if my pockets reek of ass, I’ma kill you!
–D train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: sitting behind them
Little boy: Now I know why it smells like urine everywhere!
–Central Park
Man: It smells like an STD in here.
–E train
Irish lad: A man’s baseball cap should always stink a wee bit.
–U-Haul rental place, Broadway
Overheard by: Kerry
Hipster girl: Oh, by the way: why did your place smell like piss?
Hipster guy: Matt* got drunk and pissed everywhere last night.
Hipster girl: And when you say Matt* you mean you?
Hipster guy: Yeah, I might.
–Lorimer St
Girl: It smells like vagina.
Guy: No, it smells like vaseline or something.
Girl: Really? It smells like ass.
–Radio City
Overheard by:
Girl: Can you press 8, please?
The guy does so. The doors open to let him off on the 3rd floor, and the scent of hannukah latkes fills the elevator.
Girl: Smells like Judaism here.
–Elevator, Columbus between 95th & 96th
Overheard by: Jayson Littman
Gay man: Have you ever smelled your ass, after you buttfuck?
–18th & 6th
Overheard by: Dana
Tourist mom to kid: There's some weird smells around here…
Suit: Nah, that's New York you're smelling. Dog piss, hobos piss, hobos barf… Ah, the glory of the Great White Way.
–Times Square
Overheard by: i love new york.
