School and studying

Young teen: Why are all examples in my physics books about animals?
Teacher: City buses and wheelbarrows are not animals.

–Riverdale, Bronx

Overheard by: Ali P!

Teenage girl: Yeah, well… I'm *really* close with the school principal.
Teenage friend, raising eyebrow: Are you?
Teenaged girl: No. I mean really close. Like, “spank me daddy” close!
(teenage friend accidentally puts the lit end of a cigarette in her mouth and starts screaming)

–59th St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: tinyfoo

Serious guy to another: See these hands? These are my bread and butter!

–Brooklyn Bridge

Overheard by: Hi-D

Well-dressed 25-year-old on phone: Yes. (pause) Please spare me the placenta. (pause) Okay, well, as long as it's clean.

–Key Foods

Woman on cell: So, she doesn't think her body is going to be ready by then?

–32nd & Park Ave

Overheard by: Publius

Man on cell: I wish I could just take my legs off. That would be so much easier.

–45th St & Ave of the Americas

Loud chick: Yeah, I'm still taking French classes. Last week we did commands, and this week we're learning, like, body parts.

–Hudson St

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

20-something girl on cell: But I have several heads…

–Metro-North Rail

Three-year-old boy to punk girl in black fishnets, as he pokes though holes: Um… why is your legs trapped?

–Thompkins Square Park

Smelly white teenager #1: Yo, man! I haven't been to school in over a week and a half. I've been just chillin' with my girlfriend.
Smelly white teenager #2: Oh, wow! Really?
Smelly white teenager #1: Yeah, I dunno what I'm gonna tell my parents–you know, when I first heard of the Passion of the Christ I thought it was a porno.

–Q58 Bus

Overheard by: Queens Girl

Older teenage boy: And I'm learning shit there, too, more shit than I learned…
Friend, interrupting: At school.
Older teenage boy: At school, yeah. And they *like* my shit there, too.

–Corner of Fashion Avenue

Music teacher: So, how do you control the sound of a recorder?
Embarrassed teenage boy: Um… You put your fingers… Uh, in the hole. And the higher you want the sound to be, the more fingers you put in the hole.
Music teacher: Is there any other way to control the sound?
Embarrassed teenage boy: Well, the harder you blow, the faster the sound will come. And the softer you blow, the slower it'll come.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

College girl #1, in crowded train: So is graduate school just like regular college? Like, once you get in, you're good and don't have to do any work?
College girl #2: Pretty much, I do whatever I want… it's great!

–1 Train

Loud student, looking at intricate homework assignment on projector: Who has the time to do that, seriously?!
Skater dude #1, muttering: Shit, I have the time to do that, I just spend it getting fucked up.
Skater dude #2: Shit man, we all do!

–School of Visual Arts

Overheard by: art school has bros too

Catholic schoolgirl #1: I think I'm going to have sex with my boyfriend tonight.
Catholic schoolgirl #2: Well, you know… you can't use a condom.
Catholic schoolgirl #1: Really?
Catholic schoolgirl #2: Yeah… they taught us that in school, hello?!

–Starbucks, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Jessa

Girlfriend: Learn anything new today?
Boyfriend: How to say “sexual offender” in Japanese!

–Central Park

Overheard by: lynn