She Has Wretched Refuse on Her Wish List

Chick: Why doesn’t anyone give monuments as gifts anymore?
Teen boy: …Ha, ha, ha!
Chick: No, you know what I mean, like the Statue of Liberty.
Teen boy: Wouldn’t it be great to blindfold someone, telling them you’ve got this great surprise for them, then take them to the Statue of Liberty, take the blindfold off and say: “It’s for you!”

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Chloe Amara

Posted on August 17, 2014
History & Geography, Manhattan, NYC Geography, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Shopping, Stupidity, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Next Time, He'll Leave Them in the Woods

Girl in heels to friends, trailing behind teacher: Look at him trying to shake us! Ain't never gonna happen. (calls ahead loudly) Mr. Daniels! Can we go to Sephora?
Teacher: (looks over shoulder, goes from fast walk to jog)

–Times Square

Overheard by: Scarface

Posted on August 16, 2014
Friends, Girls, Offers and requests, Shopping, Teachers/Professors, Times Square

How Many Lines Are in a Wednesday One-Liner?

Woman stopping passersby: Do you know the Chinese restaurant on either 8th or 9th? (points at buildings on 14th Street)

–14th St & b/w 7th & 8th Ave

Girl to another: What is jizz?

–NYU Freshman Dorm

Overheard by: Betty Noir

Man in all seriousness to restaurant server holding two plates of food: Do you guys serve food here?

–Las Ramblas Tapas Restaurant

Woman on cell: Do you think they have batteries in the Dominican Republic, or should I buy some?

–Gateway Center, Brooklyn

Overheard by: DominicanEnergizer

Tourist woman: Excuse me, do I go Uptown or Downtown?

–Delancey St

Overheard by: TR

Bewildered girl in Persian class: Does Iran have lightning?

–NYU

Posted on August 15, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Baristas, Brooklyn, Cum, Customers, Directions, Ethnic Food, Food, Global Geography, Lower East Side, NYC Geography, NYU, On Cell, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Shopping, Strangers, Students, Stupidity, The Village, Tourism, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Women, Words

Why Isn’t Blood Red an Easter Color?

Woman: Oh, look at these.
Man: They’re Easter colors.
Woman: I thought they were Shrek colors.

–Staples, Vesey & Broadway

Overheard by: Susan

Posted on August 13, 2014
Christianity, Customers, Film, Holidays, Men, Movies, Shopping, Soho, Stupidity, Women

We Take What We Want, And There’s Nothing You Can Do About It

Tourist: Are you selling those?
Guy with fake handbags: Of course not! We’re the police.

–Church & Fulton

Posted on August 11, 2014
Cops, Fashion, Money & Class, Shopping, Stupidity, Tourists, Vendors & Street Performers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

They wouldn’t want you either

Hipster: I wouldn’t smoke to go into that health food store

— Bedford Ave, outside health food store

Posted on August 1, 2014
Advice, Food, Hipsters, Shopping, Smoking, Store

But you’re in a 99-Cent Store

Cashier in Jack’s 99 Cent store: Here’s your change, 62-cents
Woman: But I just gave you $62, and since everything here costs $1, how come you’re giving me 62 cents back?
Cashier: Everything here is 99-cents
Woman: Really?
Cashier: Yeah

— Jack’s 99-Cent Store, Midtown

Posted on August 1, 2014
Clerks, Idiots, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Shopping

Satanic Fashion is Always Hot

Boy#1: So what are you going to do? Go to gospel choir practice or go shopping?
Boy#2: The sales are this week. God…is…forever.
Boy#1: …you may be going to Hell, but at least you’ll look good going.

–East Village

Overheard by: michi-L