Crazy guy: You know, there's a big sale going on, on stars. They're only $10,000.
Amused girl: Oh wow, that's cheap, I totally wish I had $10,000.
Crazy guy: Actually, I'm trying to put together a benefit for endangered animals.
–Union Square
Crazy guy: You know, there's a big sale going on, on stars. They're only $10,000.
Amused girl: Oh wow, that's cheap, I totally wish I had $10,000.
Crazy guy: Actually, I'm trying to put together a benefit for endangered animals.
–Union Square
Queer #1: Ooh, I love this rug! Look at it. Don’t you want to put it outside the door like right now?
Queer #2: Ooh, yeah, right. I love the colors. They say: go away!
–Bed, Bath and Beyond, 18th & 6th
Dorky little white kid: What happens if I fall in the tracks?
Dorky white dad: I guess I'd have to buy a new kid.
Dorky little white kid: That's beastin'!
–Q Train
Overheard by: that *is* beastin'
Two girls are looking at Bibles.
Girl #1: There are so many.
Girl #2: Get a smaller one.
Girl #1: I don’t really care how big it is.
Girl #2: The small ones are cute.
Girl #1: I don’t care. I just want it to be a good story, ya know?
Girl #2: I don’t even know what I believe anymore.
–Barnes & Noble, 86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Shannon
Guy #1: Then, when I get all the money, I’m gonna buy [unintelligible].
Guy #2: What? Buy what?
Guy #1: [Mumbles.]Guy #2: Man, you can’t get that here! You gotta go to Sotheby’s to buy that!
–Outside Food Emporium, 83rd & 3rd
Drunk customer: What kind of drunk return policy do you have?
Cashier: It’s a 14-day return policy.
Drunk customer: That’s not much of a drunk policy. Most guys get drunk and wake up next to women they regret the next day. Me? I wake up next to Dostoievsky and Dickens after a bender. I love New York!
–Barnes & Noble, Park Slope
Overheard by: Random
Frantic woman: Please help me! I need double-stick tape and a whistle!
–K-Mart, 34th St
Lesbian #1: Oh, that store is so much fun!
Lesbian #2: What would we possibly need there?
–Condomania, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Danie
Thug to friend: That bitch looked up at me and said, "Damn, your dick tastes like coffee."
–86th St & Lexington
Overheard by: TINA
Female suit to other: Duane Reade is like the Starbucks of drugstores!
–Duane Reade
Old lady with shopping cart, exiting voting booth: Where's my Starbucks coupon?
–PS163, Bath Beach, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Torgo61
Guy on cell: Hey, bro! I'm having coffee and a bagel. (pause) No, an animal did not have to die for me to have this coffee!
–Arthur Avenue
Overheard by: eternal student
Man with heavy Indian accent holding a cup of Starbucks coffee: No, the most expensive coffee in the world is coffee beans eaten and then pooped out by a cat. It's $120 a cup.
–Elevator, 7th Ave & 31st St
Chick: Why doesn’t anyone give monuments as gifts anymore?
Teen boy: …Ha, ha, ha!
Chick: No, you know what I mean, like the Statue of Liberty.
Teen boy: Wouldn’t it be great to blindfold someone, telling them you’ve got this great surprise for them, then take them to the Statue of Liberty, take the blindfold off and say: “It’s for you!”
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Chloe Amara
