The Last Word

Teen girl #1: So I gave her her piece.
Teen girl #2: You gave her herpes?
Teen boy #1: No, she gave her her piece.
Teen girl #1: Of chocolate.
Teen girl #2: Ha, ha, ha! “Gave her herpes.” Her piece.
Teen boy #1: Herpes chocolate!
Teen girl #2: Knock, knock.
Teen boy #1: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes.
Teen boy #1: Herpes who?
Teen girl #2: Her piece of chocolate!…Hey, Milton! Knock, knock!
Teen boy #2: Who’s there?
Teen girl #2: Herpes!…Milton, you have to say, “herpes who?”!
Teen boy #2: No.
Teen girl #2: You suck, Milton!
Teen girl #1: No, you suck.
Old woman: That’s true.

–1 train

Posted on April 7, 2006
Food, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway, Should've Used a Condom, STDs, Stupidity, Teens

Wednesday One-liners Turn Up the Radio

Tween girl: The thing most people don’t get about techno is, it’s so emotional.

–76th & 2nd

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on March 29, 2006
About Celebrities, Brooklyn, Central Park, Health and Hygiene, Hobos, JAPs, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Pop Culture, Restaurants & Cafes, STDs, Subway conductors, Teens, The Bronx, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side

Collect ‘Em All!

Girl #1: When I got on the bus today, there was a needle on the seat next to me and I didn’t know what to do with it!
Girl #2: Yeah, there could have been syphilis on it or something…
Girl #1: Yeah, I was thinking more like AIDS, but sure.

–56th & 8th

Posted on March 19, 2006
Drugs, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, STDs, Stupidity

Those Are Called Babies

Girl: You feed the rats?
Man: It’s not the rat’s fault it’s a rat.
Girl: Yeah, but rats carry diseases.
Man: So do most chicks.

–96th Street 1/2/3 station

Posted on March 14, 2006
Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, STDs, Upper East Side

Wednesday One-liners Miss St. Elsewhere

Guy on cell: I don’t think it’s time yet to do the professional intervention thing. I mean if she drops down below 90, then maybe it’s time. But I’d like to her get down to 95, then she would be hot. As long as she doesn’t lose those 5 in her tits. Shit, she has nice tits.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Posted on February 22, 2006
About Celebrities, Anger Management, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Drugs, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Hospitals, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Poop, Pop Culture, Restaurants & Cafes, STDs, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Williamsburg

The Most Beautiful Crabs in the World

Old man: You are the most beautiful woman in the world.
Girl: Aw, thanks!
Guy: She has crabs!

–Times Square 1/2/3 station

Overheard by: Meaghan Stefaniak

Posted on January 30, 2006
Fashion, Health and Hygiene, Old People, People, STDs, Times Square

That’s Why God Uses It as Punishment

Girl #1: You’re going off the pill? What about STDs and AIDS?
Girl #2: Yeah, and babies!
Girl #1: STDs and AIDS are worse than babies.
Girl #2: True.

–Madison & 26th

Overheard by: K8

Girl #1: …It’s so scary how time flies.
Girl #2: You know what’s even scarier than that?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: AIDS.

–68th & Broadway

Overheard by: Anne O.

Posted on December 31, 2005
AIDS, Friends, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Pregnancy & Birth Control, STDs, Time, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Mike’s Hard Plasma

Girl: So we were all really drunk one night and someone said we should all drink our blood.
Guy: Oh yeah?
Girl: So we cut ourselves and dripped blood into this cup and passed it around. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen…we were really drunk.
Guy: That’s really not good. That’s really bad.
Girl: …But we were really drunk.

–Loews Lincoln Square, West 68th Street

Overheard by: jesse kay

Posted on December 20, 2005
Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movie Theaters, Psychology, STDs, Stupidity

I Was Wondering Where I Left My Toad

Guy #1: You have warts?
Guy #2: I don’t know…I think I caught it at the gym.
Guy #1: Uh yeah, getting fucked in the ass at the gym!

–23rd & Park

Posted on December 5, 2005
Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, STDs

They’ve Got Everything in Common

Girl #1: Oh my god, he is so cute.
Girl #2: Yeah, I told you he was like, totally hot.
Girl #3: Yeah, he is. But he is so drunk, and such a walking STD!
Girl #2: I know. I’m drunk too, though.

–83rd & 2nd

Overheard by: Mr Gemini

White chick: That girl has so many STDs; she just has to!

–Sunset Park

Posted on December 1, 2005
Brooklyn, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, STDs, Upper East Side, White People