Man: If I punch Spongebob in the face, it would be because he is living at a higher moral standard than me, as a role model to children.
–Toys ‘R Us, Times Square
Man: If I punch Spongebob in the face, it would be because he is living at a higher moral standard than me, as a role model to children.
–Toys ‘R Us, Times Square
Customer: I rescue cats in the Bronx.
Shopgirl: You know sometimes poor families with children that aren’t taught well don’t know how to treat animals. I wish there was something that could be done about them. You know it’s not fair for the animals if they get placed into a bad home like that. If they don’t have enough money to take care of their children, how are they going to take care of an animal? And they [sic] don’t even treat their children right.
–Purty Girl Boutique, Thompson St.
Schlub: …yeah, it’s the nicest place–
Loudmouth: Yeah, but it’s fuckin’ in New Jersey!
Schlub: Yeah…Jersey…fuckin’ Jersey.
–Murray Hill deli
Overheard by: Neelam S.
Girl #1: I love Kurt Cobain. I so would have had sex with him.
Girl #2: That’s like #60 in a long line of dead celebrities you would have had sex with. You’re such a slut!
Girl #1: No, see, you can have sex with as many dead celebrities as you want and not be a whore. It’s the rules.
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Woman, 50s: “You look so rested, so refreshed. Have you lost weight?” That’s what you want them to say. Not, “you look like you’ve had 3 inches of skin on your face tightened.”
Friend, 50s: Did you go back to work right after?
Woman, 50s: Not right after. Because of the bruising. But it’s New York. I could have 2 heads and no one would notice.
–Ollie’s, UWS
Overheard by: TG
Man: What do you give a 16 year old Republican besides a kick in the teeth?
–Barnes & Nobles, Park Slope
Creepy guy: You have delightfully sharp elbows.
Angular woman: Thank you, I had them sharpened this morning.
–Checkout Line, CVS
Male NYU student: Sound bites! I mean… Fucking sound bites! And that's all they have! These people don't actually know what they are talking about!
Female NYU student: (hesitant murmur of agreement)
Male NYU student, stopping to look at coffee table book: Oh man! Hunter S. Thompson! Have you read him? One of the great… beat poets.
–The Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: Ben
Customer: So, what casino did you go to?
Clerk: The Taj Mahell.
–Smoke Shop, East Village
Overheard by: Evan
