Yuppie lady: When all is said and done, I was drunk in Banana Republic…
–51st & Lexington
Overheard by: Karen Adverb
Yuppie lady: When all is said and done, I was drunk in Banana Republic…
–51st & Lexington
Overheard by: Karen Adverb
Skinny black man: Can you tell me what a fiasco is?
White guy at table with him: Yeah, it's like a party, a big party.
–Outside Nathan's, Coney Island
Overheard by: Justi
Chick #1: I went back on birth control this month. I’m using the Ring, except I don’t know if I’m using it right. I don’t want to take it out every time we have sex.
Chick #2: Wait, you shouldn’t have to take it out during sex.
Chick #1: That’s what I thought. Except, maybe I’m using it wrong, but I had sex and then afterward we couldn’t find it.
Chick #2: It can’t get lost up there!
Chick #1: It went so far up my cooter. And I swear I must have put my whole fist in there to fish it out.
Chick #2: There’s nowhere for it to go! It can’t get past your cervix.
Chick #1: How far up is my cervix?
Chick #2: Well, depends how long your vagina is. I think everyone’s is different. Maybe you have, like, a subway tunnel in there.
–Bleecker Playground
Overheard by: LMF
Woman #1: It must be all in French!
Woman #2: Oh, drag queens!
–Shubert Alley
Overheard by: Zach
Bimbette #1: So, my mom was watching that Saddam Hussein guy get hung.
Bimbette #2: Oh my god! I couldn’t bear to see something that graphic! Ugh! I can’t believe they would air something like that.
Bimbette #1: Oh, dude I know… And to top it off, she was all, ‘This is like a bad gay porno, because he is so fucked’!
Bimbette #2: Wait, who are we talking about, again?
–Subway station, 30th Ave
Guy walking by himself: I wish everybody who is not mentally ill would just drop dead!
–9th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: Rear Admiral Butts
Guy (admiringly, to attractive girl passing by): Damn, girl, I wish you were a guy!
–14th St & 1st Ave
Ditzy girl to another, about her boyfriend: He's teaching himself philosophy right now. He bought a philosophy dictionary. He can do that, you know, because he's so smart. I wish I could do that!
–Astoria
Overheard by: squarehand
Young guy to girl: Dude, I wish Dali was still around so he could do my album.
–Museum of Modern Art
Overheard by: Gino
Serious girl: I wish I had gotten the ovaries!
–Korean Baptist Church, Astoria
Overheard by: Evan
Attractive blonde: I’m going to have a cigarette.
Boyfriend: I thought you quit!
Blonde: I did, but I haven’t had one in a really long time.
Boyfriend: Um, isn’t that what quitting means?
Blonde: Whatever. I quit. I’m having one.
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: SecondHandSteve
Hard hat: This is my idea, okay? Seriously, don’t try and steal it, because I think I can make this happen. Ready? The Fab Five visit Dog the Bounty Hunter’s show, and they give Dog and his whole crew a makeover.
–Construction site, 26th & 6th
Overheard by: Big Perm
Black aesthetician, discussing Flavor of Love: I know that show’s gonna set my people back 50 years, but I just gotta watch it.
–Staff room, NYC Day Spa, 57th between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: massage therapist lurking nearby
Jock: Last night we were so wasted we got naked and mounted the ram….and then watched Fraggle Rock.
–Rose Hill Cafeteria, Fordham
College student: Watching Dawson’s Creek is like studying for the SATs.
–St. John’s University
Nerdy teen: Oh my God, a refrigerator with a television in it. My life’s dream has just been realized.
–Best Buy, 23rd & 6th
Overheard by: nicolette
Amateur media scholar: It’s not called Lost because they’re lost. It’s called Lost because the audience can’t follow it.
–R train
20-Something guy to his date: But if you don’t have a television, how do you watch porn?
–Koi, 40th & 6th
Overheard by: UniqueNY
High school girl #1: Ugh. Sorry about that. Why does everything I say sound so stupid? It's like a disease!
High school girl #2: It is a disease! I saw it on the Discovery Channel.
High school girl #1: Oh my god! Really? I should go see a doctor.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Celia
Blond: How do you spell “Columbus”? Is it with a “u”?
Brunette: Yeah.
Blond: Right, it's the country that is spelled the other way.
(pause)
Brunette: You know I never recognized the two were spelled different until you just asked that.
Blond: I only know because I slept with Colombians.
–A Train
