Teen girl, exasperated: Europe is a nation!
Teen boy: Europe is a continent!
–Queens
Teen girl, exasperated: Europe is a nation!
Teen boy: Europe is a continent!
–Queens
Catholic School boy #1: Man, I can call a bitch a bitch if I wanna call her a bitch.
Catholic School girl: Nah, you can’t call a girl a bitch. It’s offensive, stupidass.
Catholic School boy #2: Yeah man, I don’t call ’em bitch no more. Now, I call ’em broads.
Catholic School boy #1: Nah, I ain’t callin’ you a bitch cause you bitchin’. I’m calling you a bitch cause that’s just what you call ’em. It’s a colloquialism.
–6 train
Overheard by: Jacob Feldman
Five-year-old girl in funny voice: I don't wear eyeshadow. I am an alien. I am allowed to be weird.
–Downtown 6 Train, Union Square
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Brunette: So, wait. Are they scientists or large-headed aliens?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo: You may not know this, but I am from another planet. I am also recruiting souls for my army in the underworld. We are four hundred thousand billion strong. Everybody better watch out!
–1 Train
Geeky guy to another: Have you seen the planet he's from? Goddamn!
–N Train
Girl to friend (animated, with hand gestures): I mean, you could actually *see* E.T.'s birth…
–5th Ave & 14th St
Guy, very sure of himself: I would much rather hunt aliens than ghosts, at least that makes sense.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: jessi pfeufer
Five-year-old child: Is this our stop, mommy?
Mother: No sweetie, this is the ghetto. Never get off here.
(two people sitting across give them dirty looks as they leave the train)
–Metro-North, Harlem
Overheard by: getting off at the 125th street stop
Automated announcer: The next stop is 59th Street.
(people flee the train)
Conductor: The next stop on this train will be 14th Street, Union Square. Not 59th Street. …you people take this train every day. You should know better than that, now come on!
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: Cait
Thug to girlfriend: Listen, baby, I'm not really lying, fully!
–Ave B & 10th St
Thug: Yo, I wanna go to yoga, son!
–St. Marks Place
Thug: Sometimes I look around and wonder if in my next life I might be a bird.
–1st & 3rd
Overheard by: Angela
Short thug on cell: I'm gonna get you some slippers, mami, so you can show off your feet. Show off your feet. (pause) Show off your feet!
–7th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ladle
Thug to thug friend: Yo, man, you gotta wake up and smell them Arabica beans!
–CVS
Overheard by: freshly brewed.
Thug, yelling to female companion: When you gon' let me show you some dick? When you gon' let me show you some dick? Just let me show you to see if you like it! If not, you can go back to those bitches! At least we'll have something in common!
–7th Ave & 21st St, Brooklyn
Thug, excitedly discussing favorite cold stone flavor: Yo, no homo man! Peanut sensation!
–Downtown D Train
Overheard by: Raven
Southern man: What the hell is a steak free-tes?
Southern woman: Oh honey, it’s a chicken fried steak and they probably serve it with grits. This is where famous people come to eat like real human beings.
Southern man: Well hell, they should call it somethin’ more respectable than Pasties.
–Pastis, 9th & Little W. 12th
Overheard by: Jack B. Nimble
White 20-something #1: Have you heard about the September 11th controversy?
White 20-something #2: No…what?
White 20-something #1: Well, Kanye and 50 Cent are both releasing their new albums on that date and if Kanye outsells 50 then 50 says that he is going to retire from rapping.
White 20-something #2: Wow! That's controversial.
White 20-something #1: Is it crazy that that's the new September 11th controversy? Things have really changed since then…
White 20-something #2 (pensive): Or *have* they?
Black guy to friend: Yo, man! Are you listening to this shit?
–L Train
Spanish chick #1: Some people are so stupid.
Spanish chick #2: You know what I’m saying?
Spanish chick #3: I’m studying psychology with a friend of mine and he said that this kid he knows got caught stealing but–get this, right?–the kid said he is not a thief he is just a kleptomaniac.
–Clothing store, 106th & 3rd
Overheard by: pimsluer
Mook #1: We should get some eight balls.
Mook #2: Ape balls? Like gorilla balls?
–Mulberry & Spring
