Wheresday One-Liners

NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here's Grand Central!

–Broadway & Waverly

Guy on Sidekick to another: I wasn't sure if he was talking about Buffalo or Baltimore! I mean, I don't even know where Buffalo is! Is it a state?

–1 Train

Overheard by: amalthya

Ditzy girl sobbing on cell: You don't understand! They told me I was supposed to go to Penn Station but I just don't know where that is!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: queenofscots

Guy on cell: I don't get it–why go all the way to Ireland if you're not going to go see Stonehenge?

–Costco, Brooklyn

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?

–85th & 1st

Overheard by: Special K

Posted on December 6, 2020
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Couples, Crying, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Lies, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Penn Station, Questions, Store, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners

Or Timbuktu?

Guy: I like to travel a lot.
Girl: Ohhh! Have you ever been to New Jersey?

–72nd & Central Park West

Overheard by: Ross

Posted on December 3, 2020
Girls, Guys, Questions, Stupidity, Travel, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

If We Got Married, It Wouldn't Be an Issue!

Bimbette #1: Oh my god! I just realized my brother and I have the same last name!
Bimbette #2: Really?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, it never hit me before.

–BX10 Bus

Overheard by: My mom and I too

Posted on December 2, 2020
Bimbettes, Bus, Family Ties, Names, On the Bus, Stupidity

He Wanted to Buy It Now

Woman #1: I was selling some stuff on eBay, but got scared.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Because they kept asking too many questions.
Woman #2: Who?
Woman #1: The buyers.
Woman #2: Like what?
Woman #1: They wanted to know if the Louis Vuitton bag and belt I was selling was real. It freaked me out.
Woman #2: So what happened?
Woman #1: I ended the sale, because I had two people watching me and I got scared.
Woman #2: Watching you?
Woman #1: Yeah, they can watch to see who bids and how much they bid and then they can try to make a last minute bid.
Woman #2: Okay, but why didn’t you sell the stuff?
Woman #1: I was scared and this guy kept asking me to send pictures.

–Amy Ruth’s, West 116th Street

Overheard by: Ann-Marie Nicholson

Posted on December 1, 2020
Fashion, Manhattan, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

That’s Not Really By Choice, Fattie

Girl #1: Oh, look! Those clothes are cute. Let’s go look over there.
Girl #2: Those are maternity clothes.
Girl #1: Oh my God, no way!
Girl #2: Yes, see? It says “A Pea in the Pod Maternity Clothes”.
Girl #1: Oh wow, I had no idea!
Girl #2: Yeah, they are.
Girl #1: Well! There isn’t going to be a pea in this pod any time soon, I can tell you that!

–Macy’s

Posted on November 27, 2020
Clothing, Friends, Girls, Idiots, Retail Therapy, Store, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Wishes & desires

You Paint Such a Vivid Picture with Words

Sorostitute #1: … And I was like, ‘Uhhh!’ And she was like ‘Uhhh!’ And of course he wanted to come back to the apartment.
Sorostitute #2: Oh my god, I know!

–7th & 1st, East Village

Posted on November 26, 2020
Bimbettes, Home, Sweet Home, Sex, Sorority Girls, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

What? I Thought This Was a Safe Space.

Female art student: I love people who fit into a stereotype!
Flamingly gay art student: I like being racist.
Female art student: What?!

–NYU

Posted on November 22, 2020
KKK, NYU, Queer guys, Questions, Race, Students, Stupidity

Wednesday Undie-Liners

Guy: Oh, man! It is not a good day to be my underwear!

–Wine Store, 75th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Raven

10-year-old to little brother: Hey! C'mere! You wanna play Captain Underpants?

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: dogboy

Guy on cell: I'm not paying her to smell your underwear!

–57th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Lagsalot

Loud older gentleman watching people at subway entrance: They don't wear brassieres anymore!

–23rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Zombie Boyfriend

Older lady in funeral procession behind bag piper wearing kilt: I looked. He's wearing underpants.

–120th & Broadway

Posted on November 9, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Brothers, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Musicians, Offers and requests, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Sensory Experiences, Store, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

That Means He Knows How to Get Women

Boss guy: I’ll meet you at Seebo at 5:30.
Design guy: Um…I think it’s pronounced “Chee-bo.” C-I-B-O. It’s Italian.
Boss guy: What do I know? I’m a Viking.

–Office, Hanover Square

Overheard by: R.S.

Posted on November 5, 2020
9 to 5-ers, Food, Stupidity, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Stupidity