Teen boy: Yo, I got the munchies, B…Yo, what happened to the guys with candy and shit? Shit was mad convenient.
–1 train
Overheard by: I. J. Meyers
Teen boy: Yo, I got the munchies, B…Yo, what happened to the guys with candy and shit? Shit was mad convenient.
–1 train
Overheard by: I. J. Meyers
20-something guy, reading cigarette pack: “Light” does not mean safer. It refers to taste. Lights wont help you quit smoking.
Friend: Uh, alright. Let me get a pack of ultra lights.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jack Straw
Girl: If I made a sex doll that smelled like elk, he would totally do it!
–Queens
Middle-aged Latino: I've got barbie dolls!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Newspaper vendor: Cause I have that multiple sneezing thing! I hate that crap! I'm like a bobble-head doll!
–96th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Galatea
Girl leaving nail salon: It looks like Malibu Barbie just threw up all over my feet.
–11th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Bill
Despondent little girl in coffee shop: Um, I don't play with the doll house that much because you said we're not supposed to play in the meditation room.
–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn
Woman #1: I watched the best movie last night!
Woman #2: Oh yeah? What was it?
Woman #1: It was called To Catch a Mockingbird.
Woman #2: Did you know they made a book from that movie?
–Q55 bus
Ghetto chick: Excuse me! Excuse me! What’s the name of the towers that got knocked down?
Incredulous passerby: Umm . . . The World Trade Center.
Ghetto chick to thug boyfriend: See! I told you it wasn’t none of that twin towers. You thinking of Lord of the Rings.
–Vesey St
Black guy: Man, Asia and Africa is totally disinterconnected!
–E train
Guy on cell: She has no idea I’ve been on steroids all week!
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: Bria Dunham
Annoyed gate lady: Sorry, sir, the plane is being delayed one hour and could be delayed longer.
Frequent flyer: What if I get upgraded to first class?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Mike
Indian chick: So I was watching VH1 and it was a show about child stars. You know, Drew Barrymore, Jodie Foster–
Asian chick: What? Jodie Foster was a child star?
Indian chick: Yeah. She was a child prostitute at like, 13, and they made a movie about it and everything.
Indian chick: Lookit that chart. They’re ranking condoms, see? Trojan Magnum, then Regular Trojans, then Trojan Ultra Sheer, then Durex Regular, then Lifestyles, and then Lifestyle Ultra-Sensitive, see?
Asian chick: Mmm. Trojan Ultra Sheers, yeah.
Indian chick: But Durex has at least one more that should go in there! Durex has a Magnum too and it’s really good.
Asian chick: So yeah, what’s their deal?
Indian chick: Like, it’ all about how well they endure. Not how much pleasure they give. Fucking government chart.
Indian chick: Anyway. I’m definitely thinkin’ about havin’ my kids in a foreign country. Like, dual citizenship. Just take a semester off, fly to Britain for a month, and voila.
Asian chick: That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. What for?
Indian chick: They just come out cooler, that’s all.
–Chelsea Health Center, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: capn midnite
Girl #1: I always get so much more jazzed after drinking Diet Pepsi than regular Pepsi.
Girl #2: Well, that’s because Diet Pepsi has soooo much more sugar than regular Pepsi.
–Marymount Manhattan College
Overheard by: Mallory McMahon
20-ish guy #1: I don’t understand why there are still pay phones in the city. Who doesn’t have a cell phone?
20-ish guy #2: I don’t understand why women are allowed to talk.
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Also Wondering About Both
