Girl #1: So, you’re a vegetarian?
Girl #2: Yep. Eating animals kills.
Girl #1: Wait, but you had sushi the other night.
Girl #2: Fish doesn’t count. It’s, like, not an animal.
Girl #1: Huh? Yeah, it is. It, like, breathes and stuff.
Girl #2: But it’s underwater.
Girl #1: No, it’s an animal, ’cause it moves around and swims.
Girl #2: Then how come I can eat it?
–NYU
Hipster, walking to registers with an armload of toothpaste: Who wants me?
Cashiers: (stare blankly, not moving)
Hipster: What, no one wants me? Ah, damn. That's sad.
–Duane Reade
Latina: People are always saying I look Asian. Do you see it?
Asian guy: Well, you know, Mexicans look a lot like Asians.
White girl: Yeah, they have those same narrow eyes.
Asian guy: And they’re short.
–Amy’s Bread, Bleecker Street
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Girl to friend: I wonder what’s the difference between hard tacos and soft tacos.
–Line at Taco Bell, Queens Mall Food Court
Overheard by: NTA
Guy talking to his friend: I don’t believe there is a first time for everything, but I do think there is a first time for anything.
–2nd St & Ave B
Overheard by: Max Berlinger
Girl on cell in hallway: She told me to get bacterial soap.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Krisztina ,who uses anti-bacterial
Subway comedian: My wife is so stupid. I told her to take the 2 train, she took the 1 twice. [Awkward silence follows. Comedian proceeds to dance around a subway pole pretending to be a stripper.]
–1 Train
Overheard by: Subway rider
Guy on cell: Dude, you’ve got to stop doing this "living paycheck to paycheck" thing because every time you get a check it’s like an emotional highway.
–Columbia University Campus
Overheard by: Alina
College girl, after closing a Nutella jar: I solved it! I solved the puzzle!
–Broome St
Overheard by: YJL
Girl: How can homeless people even afford to ride the subway?
Guy: I wonder if they think of their MetroCard as a business investment.
–N train
Overheard by: Daniel Motta
Crazy guy: Jodie Foster is a top notch actress!
Girl: Okay.
Crazy guy: Julia Roberts is going down!
Girl: Are they going to fight?
–Shubert Theater, West 44th Street
Teen boy #1: She’s not a slave.
Teen boy #2: Slaves have a third grade reading level.
Teen boy #1: Fourth.
–B31 bus
Girl #1: So he went to Louisiana for college and he was evacuated! I was like, “Ha! You had to leave the country the day you got there!”
Girl #2: State. Louisiana’s a state.
Girl #1: Really? Where is it?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Hipster #1: Narwhals don't bite–you're impaled.
Hipster #2: So they must have discovered narwhals before unicorns.
–Wasabi, Manhattan Ave & Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Laura
Tourist: I don’t like this train line. On the L line they have benches so that you can kneel down and pray… And they don’t have crevices digging into your ass and shit.
–1 train
Tourist girl: Let’s go to the Upper Wet Side.
–Palace Theatre, Broadway
Tourist: You haven’t been raped and stabbed ’til you’ve been raped and stabbed in New York.
–Central Park
Dude with huge backpack, clutching a map: Sometimes you just don’t want to see a huge ball of twine, y’know? It’s, like, 200 miles away. [Guy next to him nods head vigorously.]
–Manhattan-bound L train
Middle-aged tourist on cell: No, we gotta go to Penn Central. Trust me, I know this place — we gotta get to Penn Central.
–Penn Station
