Wife: Oh yeah? You wanna step outside? You wanna step outside? You wanna step outside?
Husband: We are outside.
Wife: Exactly.
–Circle Line Tour Pier
Wife: Oh yeah? You wanna step outside? You wanna step outside? You wanna step outside?
Husband: We are outside.
Wife: Exactly.
–Circle Line Tour Pier
Coffee guy: Good morning, sir.
Sir: Medium coffee.
Coffee guy: Milk and sugar, sir?
Sir: Yes, please.
Coffee guy: …you go down, sir?
Sir: Excuse me?
Coffee guy: You go down? Down the town?
–Roach coach, Franklin & Church
Overheard by: Bailey Wier
Guy, about article on divorced lesbians: They are coming out all over.
Lady: It’s gotten so you are afraid to sit under a tree.
–Elevator, 1250 Broadway
Guy #1: Are people getting dumber or is it just me?
Guy #2: Both.
–6 Train
Girl #1: I believe in evolution and God.
Boy: What? That’s stupid. You believe that if a monkey walked into a forest he’d walk out as a human?
Girl #2: She doesn’t believe that, idiot. The monkey would have to stay in that forest for, like, 50 years for that to work!
–Elizabeth & Hester St
Hipster girl: I hate it when obviously uncool people wear flannel.
–E Train
Overheard by: dru
Hipster girl: Shark Week is a week? It lasted like a month last year.
–N 6th St, Williamsburg
Frumpy hipster: No! Hipsters melt in the rain!
–McCarren Park Pool, Greenpoint
Hipster on cell: No, I've never heard of a nocturnal squirrel… Do you even… Wait, are you trying to tell me you're gay?! No? Well, this is awkward…
–Central Park
Hipster guy to another: Have you ever played with yourself under a blacklight? There's like all kinds of shit on your dick!
–Union Hall
Overheard by: Cass
Frumpy mom, holding up item for hipster tween daughter: Catherine, is this ironic?
–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg
Dude #1, while crossing Yankee stadium: Dude, are we in Staten Island yet?
Dude #2: Are you retarded?
–4 Train
Blonde: No, what’s funnier is that this girl is Asian and she can’t use chopsticks.
Brunette: Hahaha… Why can’t she use ChapStick?
Blonde, slowly: Chop-sticks… Why did you laugh if you didn’t get it?
–Hayden elevator, NYU
Overheard by: Jackster
Girl: I mean, which came first, “Ford,” or “affordable”?
Guy: Uh, “affordable,” I think.
Girl: Are you sure?
–L Train
Columbia student #1: It’s funny how many kids do coke at this school… Actually, it’s disgusting.
Columbia student #2: Wait, but you just bought an eightball a few hours ago.
Columbia student #1: Oh, yeah.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: keith smith
