Girl #1: I don’t understand why he’s so popular.
Girl #2: It’s obviously because he’s a drug dealer.
–Broadway between Grand & Howard
Dealer guy: Hey man, buy some weed?
Yuppie guy: Sure. And while I’m at it, why don’t I just not send my
kids to school, get them addicted to heroin, and leave them on the
street to die?
Dealer guy: You sure you don’t want some weed?
–Washington Square Park
Woman #1: God, that was so funny when all of those Nazis walked into the courtroom and their hairstyles were like Hitler’s!
Man: Well, I mean, it makes sense, I guess. You know, people always copy famous people when it comes to stuff like that.
Woman #2: Yeah, like remember when I had that terrible Dorothy Hamill haircut?
–Houston Street station
Teen boy: Somewhere out there…someone is getting laid.
–Empire State Building
Suit on cell: Why would I lie to you? When have I ever lied to you? Listen, you and I both know there are “no nice little neighborhoods” in Queens!
–11th Street & 4th Avenue
Overheard by: jayKayEss
Woman on cell: Caviar? Nigga, ain’t no caviar in Harlem.
–57th & 8th
Girl: Did you see those capris? They looked like the girl had her vagina on sideways!
–Windsor Terrace
Chick: She’s like a human Muppet…But not sexually.
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Overheard by: John Auld
Girl: And he’s like, “Are you pregnant?”
Guy: Is that how straight people ask if you got laid?
Girl: No, but I’m kinda worried.
Guy: Yeah. My friends from high school got pregnant like one after the other.
Girl: Ew.
Guy: It was like abort over here, abort over there.
Girl: I’m scared.
Guy: We was killing baby fetuses every week.
–Christopher & Gay
Woman: Well, everybody poops.
Man: That’s the title of a book.
Woman: I know. I was making a literary reference.
–Bowlmor Lanes, University Place
Overheard by: djlindee
Man I know what’s wrong with your neck.
Woman: Yeah?
Man: You slept on it funny and then you breathed in, you know? You get an air bubble in your neck when you do that.
Woman: Really?
–Food Emporium, Greenwich Street
