Woman #1: I was dreaming that I was dreaming that I was awake but wanted to take a nap. So I did and I started dreaming. Then I woke up… but I was still asleep!
Woman #2: Wow.
–13th & University
Overheard by: Matthew Sahd Mohammed
Woman #1: I was dreaming that I was dreaming that I was awake but wanted to take a nap. So I did and I started dreaming. Then I woke up… but I was still asleep!
Woman #2: Wow.
–13th & University
Overheard by: Matthew Sahd Mohammed
Hipster guy: He wants to write a book about how hipsters are all about being nihilistic and getting lung cancer from oral sex.
–Hop Scotch, Ave A
Hipster guy to girl: It’s like, you can’t take my identity. I’m a film director, that’s who I am. It’s like if I was a carpenter, I would make wood. I mean, I would make buildings… You can’t just choose to be a carpenter.
–Pepe Rosso’s, Sullivan St
Asian hipster chick: You know, when you ask someone what they’re doing and they say clearing their head? I don’t think you can really do that because when you say you’re clearing your head you are really thinking about clearing your head so it isn’t clear after all.
–A Train
Overheard by: kate
Über-hipster chick to another: Bitch! Brunch tomorrow or I’ll fucking smack that headband right off you!
–8th & Bedford, Brooklyn
Hipster girl: What floor was fluffy on?! What floor was fluffy on?!?!??!
–Hookah Bar, East Village
Overheard by: Marisa
Hipster: It was a mess. I mean, you don’t want anarchists at the socialist barbecue. Haven’t you ever read Kropotkin?
–125th St
Overheard by: Ali
Man on phone: So you know that guy whose mouth I farted in? He was totally at the bar last night.
–4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: not that guy
Hobo to his dog: Was that you who farted or me? Because I think it was you.
–67th & Amsterdam
NYU kid on cell: No, no, dude! You're not hearing me! I'm telling you that we were playing the game "I never" and the question was "I've never farted in an elevator" …yeah! I know! But here's the thing, dude! She claimed she'd never farted! (laughs) Nooo, dude! You heard me right: Never ever. And I gotta tell you, bro: it's creepin' me out!
–La Guardia b/w Bleecker & Houston
Overheard by: Elevator Bomb Dropper
Jealous guy: I hope her boyfriend farts in her face and she gets pink eye.
–L Train
Woman on cell: Now, honey, tell the truth. Did you fart on Santa's lap?
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mike N
Man to woman, as she stamps on jacket: Hey, yo! My iPod's in there!
Woman, continuing to stamp on jacket: I don't give a fuck!
–8th & Broadway
Guy #1: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Guy #2: That’s hard, man. I’ve never been good at science.
Guy #3: Me neither.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: Bored at the Office
New School girl #1: Hey! I love your dress.
New School girl #2: Thanks! I just got it.
Friendly professor: My wife has a dress just like that. When my mother saw her, she thought she was pregnant.
–New School
Teenage girl: Do you want to come?
Teenage boy: I want to come in your mouth.
–Broadway & 14th St
Overheard by: casey
Headline by: Postteen
Runners-Up:
· “A Young Christina Aguilera Gets Inspired” – PeterR
· “I’m Saving That Honour For Edward Cullen” – wirrrn
· “Just Let Me Take My Retainer Out This Time” – tatts
· “Oh, You Just Got Uninvited” – Stephanie Goe
· “Today’s ESL Class: Resolving Ambiguity With Prepositional Phrases” – Rionn Fears Malechem
Woman #1: Well, maybe it’ll be better next time.
Woman #2: No, there ain’t gonna be a next time, because if there is a next time, I’m gonna kick you in the head!
–W 4th St
Overheard by: Duncan
Young guy: You know, I think I've actually eaten gator at Gatorland.
Young chick, looking exasperated: Why would they sell alligator to eat in Gatorland? That's like selling dolphin sandwiches at the aquarium!
Young guy: You're right! I better tell Shamu to watch out and go somewhere else because all I need is miracle whip and white bread, and voilá… It's magic, bitch!
–8th St & University Place
