Girl #1: You’re going off the pill? What about STDs and AIDS?
Girl #2: Yeah, and babies!
Girl #1: STDs and AIDS are worse than babies.
Girl #2: True.
–Madison & 26th
Overheard by: K8
Girl #1: …It’s so scary how time flies.
Girl #2: You know what’s even scarier than that?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: AIDS.
–68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Anne O.
Girl #1: We only fucked for like 2 minutes.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: He has ADD.
Girl #2: Is that, like, when the person has more than one personality?
Girl #1: No, I wish. Role playing would be a lot easier.
–Hunter College North-West bridge
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Store chick: I got a high school ring, and it was the biggest regret of my life.
–NYU Professional Bookstore, LaGuardia Place
Overheard by: andrew
Woman: What ever happened to Ceci?
Man: Ceci?
Woman: Yeah, Ceci. That little girl that got her fingers cut off. The pretty little crackhead with the beautiful soul.
–116th & Frederick Douglass
Overheard by: Melissa Berry
Junkie lady: Wow, that thing is nice, what year is it?
Yuppie guy: ’06, I just got it.
Junkie lady: ’06? That shit ain’t even here yet. You better put that in a garage, nigga!
Yuppie guy: I don’t have money for that or for you.
–Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Art Vandelay
Rabbi: It’s been two weeks and that’s pretty long for me.
–34th & 7th
Guy #1: He sucks, though I don’t want him working there with me.
Guy #2: Why does he suck? Is he slow at washing dishes or something?
Guy #1: Yeah, he takes forever. All I do is throw them in the water, skeet on ’em and put them in the drying rack.
–L train
Lady lawyer: Hey, what animal year are you?
Boy attorney #1: The monkey, I think.
Boy attorney #2: Dude, chimpanzees freak me out after seeing Outbreak.
Boy attorney #1: That was a monkey, not a chimpanzee.
Lady lawyer: The thing I don’t like about monkeys is their butts.
–Office, East 45th Street
Teen boy #1: So I gotta go home, change, and then meet her and go to church.
Teen boy #2: Who the hell goes to church on a Friday night? How often do you go to church?
Teen boy #1: Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays…sometimes Sundays.
Teen boy #2: Damn dude, when are you gonna have time to lose your virginity, dude?
Teen boy #1: That’s what I’m working on, man!
–F train
Overheard by: Geisa
Guy #1: How long have we been coming here and how long has that waitress been working here?
Guy #2: She’s been here for at least 2 years.
Guy #3: She must be the worst actress in all of New York City.
–Brother Jimmy’s, 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Fritz Chestnut
Guy: You’re how old? 27? Wow, I’m old.
Chick: Why, how old are you?
Guy: 35. If this was 1000 years ago, I’d be dead by now.
–Office, 51st & Park
Overheard by: Shannon
