Hobo: That’s it. I’m revokin’ ya hood pass! Don’t go past a hundred and tenth!
–80th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Jeremy Cristol
White girl on cell: I can’t take the subway now, it’s 10 o’clock. I’m not black.
–67th & 2nd
Hobo: That’s it. I’m revokin’ ya hood pass! Don’t go past a hundred and tenth!
–80th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Jeremy Cristol
White girl on cell: I can’t take the subway now, it’s 10 o’clock. I’m not black.
–67th & 2nd
Wife: l’ll just be two minutes.
Husband: Don’t lie to me.
Wife: Two minutes.
Husband: Don’t lie to me
Wife: Three minutes.
Husband: Yeah, that’s what I thought.
–50th & 6th
Overheard by: Don Willmott
Woman: I know. Haven’t they figured out yet that if you hang around The Nation long enough, you’ll get hired?
Man: They hire anyone.
–elevator, The Nation building
Latino: There’s a six hour minimum wait for a SUV.
Latina: What?
Latino: To get a SUV, it’s a six hour minimum wait.
Latina: What you mean, “a six hour minimum”?
Latino: If we want an SUV there is a six hour minimum wait!
Latina: So we can only rent it for six hours?
–JFK
Overheard by: Paul Ferris
Hipster girl: She was all, “Yeah, Betsy is my best friend,” and I was like, “Best friend? That is so fucking bourgeois.”
–L train
Girl: I know you made it. Look at you. You got a BlackBerry. Yeah, you made it. You got that good-smelling leather.
–Elevator, 12th & 5th
Overheard by: Thirsty Violet
Professor lady: Yes, we’ll be going into debt a lot as the semester goes on.
–Parsons School of Design
Overheard by: Ray
Teen boy: Anyone on this train wanna buy some candy? It’s not for a basketball team or something, it’s for me so I can buy more candy.
–2 train
Overheard by: Sarah
Intercom: Please take a headset before you get on the plane, because they’re free now. They’re actually free once you get on the plane, but I charge $50 labor for bringing them to you once you’re on. So it’s in your best interests to take one now. Can you tell I’m a happy person?
–LaGuardia
Chick: I’m not even gonna try applying for a Gap card; they’ll never give it to me. I don’t know what it is about Gap; they always know if you have bad credit.
–The Gap, 34th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dianora
Tween boy: What do you mean, I can’t get anything? I’m the one with a job.
–Key Food, Park Slope
Overheard by: Shack
Drunk chick #1: I have the best blind date story ever.
Drunk chick #2: Oh yeah?
Drunk chick #1: My sister’s friend flew from Australia to LA for a blind date, and she ended up flying to Aruba with the guy and marrying him like a week later.
Drunk chick #2: Wow. That’s awesome!
Drunk chick #1: But I think she was just, like, 35 and desperate to get married.
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Overheard by: djlindee
Guy #1: Remember that time last week when I like fucking killed Frank?
Guy #2: Huh?
Guy #1: When I fucking killed Frank?
Guy #2: Who?
Guy #1: Frank.
Guy #2: Oh, ha, ha! Priceless.
–Columbia University
Girl #1: I’ve been eating really good foods.
Girl #2: What about all of that yogurt in your fridge? You have like six containers of it.
Girl #1: It’s okay, they don’t expire until January of ’07.
Girl #2: That means January 7th, dumbass.
–L train
Overheard by: Glynnis O
Hobo: Do you have the time?
Guy: Yeah, it’s 2:30ish
Hobo: Can you spare some change?
Guy: I told you the time, and time is money.
–110th & Broadway
Girl #1: I can’t believe last year you had a boyfriend and this year you have a girlfriend! It’s like so nasty.
Girl #2: Oh please, next year you’re going to have a girlfriend too.
Girl #1: Hell no I ain’t. I made it through last year without a girlfriend and I’ll make it through this year too!
–6 train
Overheard by: Kimberly
