Girl #1: Again? That’s twice this week.
Girl #2: Yeah, I really think I am a nymphomaniac.
–3rd Ave & 60th St
Girl #1: Again? That’s twice this week.
Girl #2: Yeah, I really think I am a nymphomaniac.
–3rd Ave & 60th St
Professor: Have a good weekend! [Pause] What day is today?
Students: Monday.
Professor: Shit!
–NYU
Red-haired hipster: Yeah, I haven't bathed myself in a week, so today I took a shower.
Hipster chick: Yeah, last time I took a shower was on Christmas Eve. I guess I should bathe.
–L Train
Overheard by: every day bather
Headline by: antigoth
Runners-Up:
· “God, I Hope This Was Overheard on Christmas Day” – Vasyl
· “Jesus Would Want It That Way” – Nick Turner
· “On the Plus Side, I’ve Driven All Of the Roaches Out Of My Apartment” – Kelly
· “Robert Pattinson’s Dream Girls” – John
· “Smells Like…. Teen Spirit?” – rose
· “Wait, Do Golden Showers Count?” – Trey Jackson
· “Why Is There an Echo on This Train?” – Scott Easton
· “Why You Never See Hipster Babies…” – Ray
20-something: I didn't even realize it was my birthday until I checked Facebook!
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: mtrainetiquette
Girl to friend: We should celebrate tonight–it's my half birthday in 10 days.
–Crocodile Lounge, E 14th St
Tourist: See nobody is wearing birthday scars…
–34th St & 5th Ave
Guy to girl: Wait, did you really believe I was going to get you a Hello Kitty vibrator for your birthday?
–45th & 8th
Drunk girl to hobo: It's my birthday! You should be giving *me* money!
–111 & Broadway
Seven-year-old: I want to take a year off.
Dad: You are not taking a year off.
Seven-year-old: But I want to party.
Dad: You cannot take a year off to party!
–83rd & Park
Middle-Aged man: I hope we don’t get caught.
Prostitute: Don’t worry, I never have.
–81st & Amsterdam
Headline by: Sean
Runners-Up:
· “…Not Once in My Ten Years on the Force.” – Ingwall
· “Any Extra Charge For the Lip Service?” – Hobo Whisperer
· “He Was Looking For, ”Cause Then We’d Have to Be Punished…'” – alex
· “I’ve Got My Lucky Condom” – Sheri
· “Is Hugh Grant Considered ‘Middle-Aged’?” – Matthew McGuirl
· “My Parents Will Be Home in an Hour” – Lois
· “Skip the Condom. She’s Been Tested, Too” – Andy Adelewitz
· “Take Your Father to Work Day” – Sean Mc Grath
Honorable mentions:
· “Charge Me If You Can” – petch
· “If You Can’t Beat ‘Em (in Public)” – Heather
· “They Were Talking About Their Braces.” – Allison
Girl #1: If Rome was built in a day, I can definitely build a website in one day also…
Girl #2: The saying is “Rome wasn't built in a day.”
Girl #1: Are you sure? That kinda ruins my logic.
–NYU
Drunk guy to laughing Asian: There is no theory of evolution–only a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Girlfriend: Babe, no more Chuck Norris, please!
Drunk guy: But Chuck Nor…
Girlfriend: No, give me one good reason you should talk about Chuck Norris.
Drunk guy (without hesitation): Cause god wanted 10 days to create the world, and Chuck Norris only gave him 6, do you want an 8-day work week? Huh?
Girlfriend to friend: How did I just lose this argument?
Friend: Yeah, that was unexpected.
–Zanzibar Bar
Overheard by: Wish i was chuck norris
Girl #1: Real New Yorkers hate LA. I'm sure I'd hate it if I had to live there.
Girl #2: Yeah, la's terrible. I wouldn't mind living in San Francisco, though, because I was baptized there.
Girl #3: I don't know, LA's kind of fun for like a year.
Girl #1: When did you live there?
Girl #3: Third grade.
–LIRR
Overheard by: bunbury
