Park ranger: Boat to New Jersey to the left, New York to the right.
Guy heading to boats: Why would we ever want to go to New Jersey?
Park ranger: Good question.
K-9 cop: I guess you won't be visiting me… I'm living in exile over there.
–Liberty Island
Overheard by: ZANSR
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you.
The train pulls away.
Old lady: Fuckhead.
–23rd Street F station
Woman: Where is there an elevator or ramp down to the lower tracks?
Info booth lady: Which track are you trying to get to?
Woman: It doesn’t matter…gate 120.
Info booth lady: We don’t have a gate 120. If you tell me where you’re really going, I’ll tell you how to get there!
–Grand Central
Shopgirl: You got to go to Hawaii for the summer? You’re so lucky!
Shopqueer: Not so lucky; I had to come back.
Shopgirl: At least you got to get out of the country.
–Urban Outfitters, Upper West Side
British professor: When I moved from England to the States I was always so surprised to hear people use the phrase, “I feel” this and “I feel” that…
NYU kid: Why?
British professor: Because we don't feel.
–Cantor Film Center, NYU
NYU girl #1: So when you were in Israel did you hook up with any hot Israeli guys?
NYU girl #2: Yeah, he was this really hot army officer. But he was so aggressive…I think he though I was Gaza or something.
–Washington Square Park
Comedy show guy: Comedy! You already spent money on the plane ticket to come to this stupid place, you might as well have some fun while you're here. We have black people and fried shit. Ma'am, do you want to see a comedy show?
Large black woman: No.
Comedy show guy: Why not? Are you “different”?
Large black woman: No, I live here, so I already know everything is stupid. Including your show.
Comedy show guy:: Give me a hug. That was awesome.
–46th & Broadway
Overheard by: Wes
Teen hipster #1: So where is he?
Teen hipster #2: All the way in Herald Square. I’m not going all the way there.
Teen hipster #1: Where is Herald Square?
Teen hipster #2: In New Jersey.
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Jersey has everything
Woman: What hotel are you staying at?
German tourist: I’m not staying at a hotel. I’m staying at a hostel.
Woman: We’re gonna do it in a hostel?
–Time Warner Center
JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer.
–Spot’s Café
JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies!
–Hunter College
Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine.
–University & 12th
JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion!
–17th & 6th
NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight!
–Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Maya G.
Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ponine
