Man: So how have you been?
Woman: Oh, it’s been crazy. We just got plowed-into by a tractor-trailer. For the second time. It’s coming toward us and I’m looking at my husband and I’m thinking, ‘He’s going to die right here in front of me — and after all that chemotherapy!’
–Elevator, E 27th St
Overheard by: dr. schadenfreude
Park ranger: Boat to New Jersey to the left, New York to the right.
Guy heading to boats: Why would we ever want to go to New Jersey?
Park ranger: Good question.
K-9 cop: I guess you won't be visiting me… I'm living in exile over there.
–Liberty Island
Overheard by: ZANSR
Old lady: Please stop!
Conductor: I didn’t see you.
The train pulls away.
Old lady: Fuckhead.
–23rd Street F station
Woman: Where is there an elevator or ramp down to the lower tracks?
Info booth lady: Which track are you trying to get to?
Woman: It doesn’t matter…gate 120.
Info booth lady: We don’t have a gate 120. If you tell me where you’re really going, I’ll tell you how to get there!
–Grand Central
Shopgirl: You got to go to Hawaii for the summer? You’re so lucky!
Shopqueer: Not so lucky; I had to come back.
Shopgirl: At least you got to get out of the country.
–Urban Outfitters, Upper West Side
British professor: When I moved from England to the States I was always so surprised to hear people use the phrase, “I feel” this and “I feel” that…
NYU kid: Why?
British professor: Because we don't feel.
–Cantor Film Center, NYU
NYU girl #1: So when you were in Israel did you hook up with any hot Israeli guys?
NYU girl #2: Yeah, he was this really hot army officer. But he was so aggressive…I think he though I was Gaza or something.
–Washington Square Park
Comedy show guy: Comedy! You already spent money on the plane ticket to come to this stupid place, you might as well have some fun while you're here. We have black people and fried shit. Ma'am, do you want to see a comedy show?
Large black woman: No.
Comedy show guy: Why not? Are you “different”?
Large black woman: No, I live here, so I already know everything is stupid. Including your show.
Comedy show guy:: Give me a hug. That was awesome.
–46th & Broadway
Overheard by: Wes
Teen hipster #1: So where is he?
Teen hipster #2: All the way in Herald Square. I’m not going all the way there.
Teen hipster #1: Where is Herald Square?
Teen hipster #2: In New Jersey.
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Jersey has everything
Woman: What hotel are you staying at?
German tourist: I’m not staying at a hotel. I’m staying at a hostel.
Woman: We’re gonna do it in a hostel?
–Time Warner Center
