Travel

Guy on cell: Call me when you get them. I’m on my way from Staten Island. I’m on the boat right now.

–47th & Lex

Overheard by: Nick Draven

Man: I just got back from the Dominican Republic!
Woman: The Dominican Republic? Where is that? Mexico?

–JFK

Overheard by: Gabi

Woman on cell: Yeah, my flight to Kansas City is delayed…Well it’s either this or back to the mental institution.

–Women’s restroom, LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: morgan from missouri

Girl #1: So, I just got my HIV test done for the Peace Corps.
Girl #2: Yeah, you wouldn’t want to bring AIDS to Africa or anything.

–52nd St

Overheard by: that’s just wrong

Man on cell: Hello. Oh, hi, yes. You won’t believe it. I’m on a bus. In New York City. Can you imagine?

–M-104 bus

Overheard by: Nhoo

Girl: Oh my God, I am psyched to be in New York. Look! I can’t believe they have sand here! Aww!

–Central Park, near the Great Lawn

Tourist guy: Wow. I love this city. If New York had a cunt, I would eat it.

–Times Square

Overheard by: monzo

Six young guys are trying to check into the Hotel Chelsea late on Saturday night of Pride Weekend.

Desk clerk: Two beds for four men, not six! Not six men for two beds. [Pause] That’s a different hotel!

–Hotel Chelsea, W. 23rd St

Girl: I accidentally got on at the wrong station and my card says “just used.” Could you let me through?
MTA employee: You broke the rules. Do you think it’s okay to break the rules where you work?
Girl: I’m sorry?
MTA employee: Oh, you must think you’re special. Guess what? You’re not.
Girl: My mom says I’m special.

–Bergen St. subway, Brooklyn

Guy, pushing on the door between cars: Can you not go between cars when it’s moving?
Old lady: It’s not the subway. You have to pull.

Guy pulls hard on the handle.

Old lady: Turn and pull.
Guy, passing through the door, shouts back loudly over his shoulder: So I push the next one?

–Metro-North, Harlem Line

Little English girl: Where are we now, Mummy?
English Mummy: We’re in New York, in America.
Little English girl: [sigh] We’re still in America?

–Union Square East

Overheard by: Manhattman

Hobo: That’s it. I’m revokin’ ya hood pass! Don’t go past a hundred and tenth!

–80th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Jeremy Cristol

White girl on cell: I can’t take the subway now, it’s 10 o’clock. I’m not black.

–67th & 2nd