Guy: ‘Cause when a girl’s got way too many diaphragms…
Chick: Yeah.
Guy: That’s the sign that I missed.
–93rd & Broadway
Guy: ‘Cause when a girl’s got way too many diaphragms…
Chick: Yeah.
Guy: That’s the sign that I missed.
–93rd & Broadway
Queer: Why do you like him? The guy behind us in the black shirt is so much hotter.
Hag: Ew…
Queer: You know I like those big, rough German types…if he put me in a camp, just imagine all the terrible things he would do to me.
Hag: …Would you stop staring at him?
Queer: I so want him to rape me.
Hag: Get over it, he’s not gay!
Queer: Whatever, if we were in prison he’d so be doing me.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Smack Jack
Guy: This is going to sound awful but Ryan Gosling was really hot in that movie where he played the Nazi with the shaved head.
Girl: Yeah, he was a hot Nazi in that movie. A hotzi, if you will.
–92nd Street Y
Overheard by: Kelly
Guy #1: Aw, man, have you seen March of the Penguins? That movie was horrible. Couldn’t get through it.
Girl: I saw that. I got double-banged to it… I kinda like getting double-banged by two attractive guys, y’know? [Men stop walking and look at each other.]Guy #2: Dude, that’s gross. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. Wow.
–70th & 2nd
Hipster guy: Last night my girlfriend called me Caligula.
Chick: That’s really scary, ’cause he was crazy and evil. Why did she call you Caligula?
Hipster guy: I don’t know. I mean, I guess I could understand if she was talking about his big cock.
–Office, 84th & 3rd
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Flamboyantly gay guy to gay friends: Why do I have to be the queen? Why can’t I just be regular?!
–Christopher Street
Overheard by: JMcheer
Queer to another: I just want to bury my face in his ass!
–67th & Park Ave
Gay guy on cell: Oooh! I love playing straight!
–1st Ave, East Village
Overheard by: B
Stressed gay worker: They always skip over my lunch break. Everyone else gets their lunch breaks but they always skip over mine. Ugh. Guys, I’m gonna take my 15 minutes. I’m taking my 15 minutes. I close tonight… Ugh, this is not the road to success! (storms off)
–H&M Store
Overheard by: nyu kid
Queer to boyfriend: You know Romy and Michelle? I love that movie… That movie made me gay.
–Restaurant, 19th & 8th
Overheard by: batou187
Queer on cell: I know… I know! Gosh, that is sooo gay!
(bewildered elderly lady looks at him)
Queer to elderly lady (in shrieking voice): Oh my god, oh my god, the faggot said gay!
–Central Park
Girl #1: I saw this homeless girl on the street who looked our age and I felt so bad.
Girl #2: So did you give her money?
Girl #1: No, my nails were wet.
–62nd & Lexington
Bank teller: What state was your account opened in?
Customer: Brooklyn.
–59th & Lex
Overheard by: Captain Finance
Volunteer #1: So, any presidents this week?
Volunteer #2: No, only Henry Kissinger.
Volunteer #1: Oh, I went to high school with him and his brother. They both asked me out, but I wasn’t going to go out with a German refugee.
–The Guggenheim
Overheard by: ash
Fashion girl #1: Today should be Friday.
Fashion girl #2: Seriously. It feels like Friday.
Fashion girl #1: It would be fabulous if today was Friday.
Fashion girl #2: Fuck tomorrow.
–95th & 3rd
Overheard by: Sam J
Older Puerto Rican woman: Did you hear about the story of the Dominican woman who locked up her son for 25 years?
(disinterested friend shakes head)
Older Puerto Rican woman: He was gorgeous… beautiful. You know who he looked like?
Disinterested friend: Who?
Older Puerto Rican woman: Jesus Christ!
–106th St & 3rd Ave
