Hobo: So I beat her ass good! I told her, don’t you ever say you’ll leave me!…Hey man, you got an extra cigarette?
Suit: Nope, last one.
Hobo: Come on, man, why can’t we all love each other in unity? It don’t cost much.
–Brooklyn Heights
Hobo: So I beat her ass good! I told her, don’t you ever say you’ll leave me!…Hey man, you got an extra cigarette?
Suit: Nope, last one.
Hobo: Come on, man, why can’t we all love each other in unity? It don’t cost much.
–Brooklyn Heights
Black chick: Watch who you pushing! You pushing me ever again, I’m gonna Bruce Lee your ass, motherfucker! Say you’re sorry, chink!
Chinese guy: Go fuck yourself!
–Utopia Parkway
Overheard by: Ting
Girl: So yeah, my body is basically covered with bruises.
Guy: You mean because of the drinking, the performing, and the violent sex?
Girl: Yeah.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Richard
Tourist man: And then we can go in there and get raped.
Tourist woman: Yeah. Let’s go get murdered in Central Park.
–5th Ave & 19th St
Creepy drunk guy: I'm going to go to the bathroom and then I'm going to come back and hit on you some more.
Girl to friend: I fucking hope not, I think that guy has an open wound on his arm.
–W 12th
Woman #1: You ever just have one of those days?
Woman #2: Yeah.
Woman #1: I’m having a whole week. I swear to god. And I just walked here from…Oh, forget it.
Woman #2: Oh.
Woman #1: And now I can’t even find my makeup! I swear to god, if they don’t have it, I’m gonna fucking…I don’t know!…I’ll fucking kill a tourist!
Woman #2: Oh, I hope it’s not me!…Ha, ha, ha!
5 minutes later.
Woman #2: That’s her! That’s her! That’s the New Yorker who cursed at me and threatened me!
Woman #3: It’s like seeing one in their natural habitat! I can’t wait to tell everyone a real New Yorker threatened you!
Woman #2: I know! It’s awesome!
–Sephora, Broadway between 43rd & 44th
Overheard by: Non-Bitchy New Yorker
Brooklyn chick #1: He’s totally self-destructive.
Brooklyn chick #2: Yeah, I know, but so am I, just in a different way, ya know? I’m only self destructive to me, not to other people… wait, forget that I just said that.
–F train
Overheard by: Natalie P.
Guy on cell: Bitch, you aren’t coming out?…I haven’t been home in a year and a half, get your ass out here!…What? I nearly died! I was shot! Twice!
–43rd & Broadway
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID.
–outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street
Overheard by: pb dot c
Guy #1: Jackhammering is when you’re banging her head against the wall repeatedly while plowing her.
Guy #2: No, that’s a battering-ram.
Guy #1: Well, I prefer Rodney King style, beating her senseless while taking care of business.
Guy #2: Could you say that louder? One cook back there didn’t hear you.
–Margaritaville, Grand Central
Overheard by: Lizzerd
