Teenage boy #1: All I'm saying is it's false advertising. If you suck dick, you should say you suck dick.
Teenage boy #2: But then everyone will think you're a fag.
Teenage boy #3: No, no way. You're telling me that just because I meet a guy whose dick I want to suck, people will think I'm a fag?
–The Loop, Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: octopus
Girl #1: So he just made up lies about her? What an asshole!
Girl #2: Well, they aren't necessarily lies…
Girl #1: You mean it's true?
Girl #2: Think about it. (pause) I mean, she's so skinny. And they're so perky.
–NYU Silver Center
Teen girl #1, pointing to mannequin: Look! Those are the boobs we were talking about!
Teen girl #2: I know, those boobs are so obnoxious!
–89th St & Broadway
Girl: So, can you beatbox?
Guy: No, but I can make elephant noises. [Makes elephant noises.]
–Savoia
Girl #1: I feel weird today.
Girl #2: Me too.
Girl #1: I feel like I'm single again.
Girl #2 (squealing excitedly): Me too!
–N Train
Overheard by: sara n.
Girl to mother: You're being really obvious, mom, and I don't need obvious right now.
–W 242nd St
Guy on cell: In a wig, with his pants down, watching her from his car.
–33rd St, Astoria
Overheard by: Ferna
Teen to another: Barack Obama said, "pull your pants up!"
–Broadway & 72nd St
NYU girl: I wanna do it, and I wanna do it in my pants box.
–Weinstein Hall, NYU
Border's employee to man sleeping in chair: Sir, could you please wake up? …and also zip up your pants.
–Borders
Guy on phone: Well, I guess I thought you might be kind of gay after you invited me to that "no pants" party.
–Astoria
Woman (slowly walking toward a train whose doors are closing): Wait, wait… Hold the doors!
(conductor closes doors, woman glares at him)
Conductor: C’mon now… If you wanna get on my train, you best show some hustle!
–Times Square Subway Station
Overheard by: hustler
Little girl in stroller (screaming): Touch ma hair! Touch ma hair! Touch me hair!
Mother: Sweetie, please be quiet.
Little girl: Touch ma hair! Touch ma hair!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: HMS
Suit on phone: I don't think she knows. (pause) But it's just a night job! (pause) No, there's no way I'm pregnant. (pause) Why not?! Because I'm a man, goddammit!
–Starbucks
Woman on cell: So remember that time I thought I had that miscarriage?
–Grand Concourse & Fordham Road
Overheard by: Erica S
Slightly overweight girl: Thank you for the offer, sweetie, but I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat!
–M100 Bus
Overheard by: Tinathetiny
Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were going to impregnate *me*. I wanna have *your* children.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: Ken Paprocki
