Clerk #1: Yeah, she said she wants me to be more possessive to her.
Clerk #2: What the fuck does that mean? Your bitch is crazy.
Clerk #1: I dunno what it means, but next time I see her I'm gonna say, “bitch, where you goin'?” and when she starts to answer me I'm just gonna yell, “no!”
–3rd St & Ave A
Overheard by: alex mwheel
Friend #1: My friend told me that in Wisconsin they deep-fry cheese curds.
Friend #2: What's “cheese curds”?
Friend #3: Kurds are a perennially oppressed ethnic minority group found in parts of Iran, Iraq, and Turkey.
–East Village
Clipboard guy: Would you like to sign up for our mailing list?
Old man: Uh…uh… I…uh…uh.
Clipboard guy: You don't have to.
–Wings Theatre
Overheard by: Daniel
Man walking against traffic: Beep! Beep! Beep!
Older black woman: Beep beep, my behind!
–6 Train
Headline by: Trey Jackson
Runners-Up:
· “At Long Last, Someone Correctly Answers David’s Mating Call” – cultural anthropologist
· “Discovered: Where Beyonce Gets Her Lyrics From” – Joel Moore
· “Is That an Insult or an Invitation?” – alan b hutscar
· “Now, If This Had Been on HBO, the Beeps Would Have Been Words…” – beep!
· “Will.i.am, Writing In Notepad: “Genius!”” – James
· “Yeah, Our Line Of Novelty Horns Is Doing Quite Well” – mk
Guy with mullet #1: Did you get those two pics I sent you?
Guy with mullet #2: Actually, once I downloaded them it was a letdown. I thought that the bottom one was a cross section of an elk against glass, like some deer bodies exhibit or some other fucked shit.
–L Train
Overheard by: Zev
Irritating teen brother: Fine, then I'll just call up all your friends and tell them what a loser you are!
Nerdy older sister: Yeah, well, the joke's on you, cause I don't have any friends!
–Greeley Square
Overheard by: C. Milano
Teen girl #1: I'm not doing it for the same reasons as like people in the sixtes. I'm not trying to see god or anything.
Teen girl #2: I'm not fucking worried about you having a religious experience, I'm worried about you seeing Sgt. Pepper jerking off to Barney or something!
–Escalator, Time Warner Building
Football player #1: Hold on, I've got to check and see if I have a package.
Football player #2: You know, most guys don't have to check that.
(a few seconds pass)
Football player #1: Shut up.
–Broadway & 115th
Flamboyant black man #1: I just want to grab some guy and go make out in the porn room.
Flamboyant black man #2: You mean the pool room?
Flamboyant black man #1: No, the porn room…come here!
–Pop Burger, 9th Ave
Overheard by: j
Woman on date: So tell me about your trip through Asia.
Man on date: Um… Yeah, so after dinner, do you want to go to K-Mart so I can watch you buy sheets? Because it would really turn me on if I could watch you buy sheets.
–East Village
