Williamsburg

Teen girl: …You know they didn’t have guns back then…But if they did, Jesus would have shot them niggas.

–Williamsburg

Guy #1: We goin’ uptown or downtown?
Guy #2: Nigga, we goin’ sideways.

–L train

Girl: I went to Boston this weekend. Mostly just to avoid the L train.

–Williamsburg

Guy: I can’t believe I was cockblocked by the L train.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Chelsea Miller

Hipster girl: I though she was like, moving to Africa or some shit to save the children or something.
Hipster boy: Well that didn’t happen. She moved to Williamsburg to save the trendy from hurting themselves with accessories.

–Happy Valley, East 27th Street

Guy: Well what do you think is more difficult, buying this pack of cigarettes or having another miscarriage?

–Williamsburg

Guy: So…this is Bedford Avenue, right?
Chick: Yeah…
Guy: So…are we in Bedford-Stuyvesant?

–Williamsburg

Guy: Whenever I tell anyone I’m from San Francisco, they always ask
me if I’m gay. Yes, I’m gay, and my mom is gay, and my dad is gay too!
Girl: I’m from San Francisco as well.

–Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg

Smoker guy #1: …I won’t be in on Thursday cause of Yom Kippur.
Smoker guy #2: You can’t come to work?
Smoker guy #1: Can’t work, can’t eat, can’t drink.
Smoker guy #2: Can’t eat or drink anything?
Smoker guy #1: Nothing from sundown to sundown.
Smoker guy #2: Jesus!
Smoker guy #1: Wrong.

–49th & 8th

Part of a building under construction fell off into another house, summoning 10 fire trucks.

Lady: See? Maybe this will teach those Jews from building them so high.

–Williamsburg

Boss lady: She needs to get her ass back to work and finish this shit up. I hate these 2 days Jews; tomorrow she’ll be eating a bacon cheeseburger.

–Office, Wall Street

Chick #1: So, that girl from Japan is paying double rent, right? $1600 on her apartment here, and $1800 on the other apartment where she was living. I asked her how she could afford both places and she told me that her Mom and her sister died in a plane crash.
Chick #2: Holy shit! Which plane crash?
Chick #1: I don’t know, one in Japan.
Chick #2: So she’s rich now, right?
Chick #3: That’s how my friend moved to Miami.

–Williamsburg

Girl: …so then there was blood all over the wall–
Guy: Oh yeah?
Girl: Yeah, so we were doing it in the bathroom and I mean, the
blood was, like, everywhere and we were like, okay, we’re at the
Plaza, we gotta get out. We were sooooo shitfaced. So then we left and got outta there…

–DuMont, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Anna K.