Black guy: Hey, man, can you tell me how to get to all those buildings over there?
Hipster guy: You mean Manhattan?
Black guy: Yeah.
Hipster guy: Um, you can’t walk there from here…unless you can walk on water!
–Williamsburg
Black guy: Hey, man, can you tell me how to get to all those buildings over there?
Hipster guy: You mean Manhattan?
Black guy: Yeah.
Hipster guy: Um, you can’t walk there from here…unless you can walk on water!
–Williamsburg
Hipster guy: Two black guys fucking two white bitches on Martin Luther King day. That shit’s trippy. I bet that was what that whole “I have a dream” shit was really about. The right to fuck white bitches.
–Starbucks, 28th & 3rd
Teen girl: …You know they didn’t have guns back then…But if they did, Jesus would have shot them niggas.
–Williamsburg
Guy #1: We goin’ uptown or downtown?
Guy #2: Nigga, we goin’ sideways.
–L train
Girl: I went to Boston this weekend. Mostly just to avoid the L train.
–Williamsburg
Guy: I can’t believe I was cockblocked by the L train.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Chelsea Miller
Hipster girl: I though she was like, moving to Africa or some shit to save the children or something.
Hipster boy: Well that didn’t happen. She moved to Williamsburg to save the trendy from hurting themselves with accessories.
–Happy Valley, East 27th Street
Guy: Well what do you think is more difficult, buying this pack of cigarettes or having another miscarriage?
–Williamsburg
Guy: So…this is Bedford Avenue, right?
Chick: Yeah…
Guy: So…are we in Bedford-Stuyvesant?
–Williamsburg
Guy: Whenever I tell anyone I’m from San Francisco, they always ask
me if I’m gay. Yes, I’m gay, and my mom is gay, and my dad is gay too!
Girl: I’m from San Francisco as well.
–Beacon’s Closet, Williamsburg
Smoker guy #1: …I won’t be in on Thursday cause of Yom Kippur.
Smoker guy #2: You can’t come to work?
Smoker guy #1: Can’t work, can’t eat, can’t drink.
Smoker guy #2: Can’t eat or drink anything?
Smoker guy #1: Nothing from sundown to sundown.
Smoker guy #2: Jesus!
Smoker guy #1: Wrong.
–49th & 8th
Part of a building under construction fell off into another house, summoning 10 fire trucks.
Lady: See? Maybe this will teach those Jews from building them so high.
–Williamsburg
Boss lady: She needs to get her ass back to work and finish this shit up. I hate these 2 days Jews; tomorrow she’ll be eating a bacon cheeseburger.
–Office, Wall Street
