Chick #1: I should go to sleep earlier. I want to, but for some reason I just can’t.
Chick #2, reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: I should also kill my roommate. I desperately want to, but I don’t think prison would agree with me. I don’t want to be someone’s bitch.
Chick #2, still reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: Are you even listening to me?
Chick #2, exasperated: What the hell do you want?!
–NYU
Hipster to friend: Sometimes I feel like jumping into a bush, curling up into a ball, and punching everything.
Passerby: I dig that.
–Sheep’s Meadow
Overheard by: lenty
Black guy: And in this movie, Leonardo DiCaprio was the most selfless guy ever — all he cared about was money.
–Jackson Hole, 91st & Madison
20-something exasperated chick on cell: It’s a little something I call the hundred and fifty bucks I have to pay once a year! It’s a little something called my rent!
–W 10th & Waverly
Overheard by: I call it that too
Geek: Have you ever pictured someone swimming in a pool of money? Do you know how much that would hurt?
–54th & 10th
Overheard by: Allisa
Mom to little daughter picking up garbage: Don’t pick up stuff off the street… unless it’s money.
–14th & 2nd
Suit: … And they find him in Brussels with one million dollars in his suitcase.
–Chambers & West Side Hwy
Overheard by: Mike McG
Conductor: Attention, passengers, the power for this line has shorted out. Track workers are coming down to reset the breaker. We should be delayed for 15 to 20 minutes. A buck fifty — you get what you pay for.
–PATH train, stuck under the Hudson
VP: I certainly don’t want you to think it’s all about money, because it’s not — it’s mostly about money.
–Office, Park Ave South
Thug to tourist taking picture: Yeah, bitch, I’m in your picture! I’m in your picture! Put it on MySpace, bitch!
–W 34th & 7th
Overheard by: nisey79
Thug to friend: Nigga, it’s hard to explain… It looked… like a decorated cosine curve!
–110th & Lenox
Overheard by: Curly Ku
Thugette to thug boyfriend: This ain’t Valentine’s Day. You slap me I’ll slap you back!
–Bronx-bound D train
Overheard by: Krissss
Thug to his baby, after carrying her stroller down the subway steps: Woo-hah, I got you all in check.
–6 train station, 59th St
Overheard by: Jackie
Thug: Shit. Jimmy Hoffa’s lucky he don’t gotta pay taxes.
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Overheard by: In debt on the F train
Thug: That thang was so big you could put a whole paragraph on it!
–6 train
Girl: I’m so pissed at him… I’m gonna wait until my herpes show up and have sex with him.
Friend: Yeah, good idea. Do it.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rebecca
Drunk girl: [Singing.]Boyfriend: Can somebody just smack her in the face for me?
–43rd & 3rd
Overheard by: Blaze Boy
Wife to hubby on cell during film: Will you please get off the phone?
Hubby: Why don’t you shut the fuck up and watch the movie?
–Loews Theatre, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Cloodle
Man: I love these chairs out here.
Guy at next table: I hate these chairs out here.
Man: Butt the fuck out of my conversation.
Guy at next table: Shut up, I just got back here. I got my ass blown off in Iraq.
–Max Restaurant, 4th St & Ave B
Ghetto girl #1: He was pissing me off, so I went all Moses on his ass.
Ghetto girl #2: Pshhh.
–Lehman College
Overheard by: Naomi & Yana Iz
40-something lady suit: Well, I don’t want to work with her anymore.
Young male suit: She’s so high-strung all the time. She needs a vacation or somethi–
40-something lady suit: –What she needs is to set aside a Saturday and get fucked by 10 men at the same time.
–81st & Central Park West
Overheard by: Zenana
