Hobo: So you two ladies want to go with me, I have a room at the Plaza?
Girl #1: No.
Hobo: Are you sure?
Girl #2: Please leave us alone.
Hobo: Okay, I’m a gentleman. See, I’m going to leave you alone. So will you come with me to the Plaza?
Girl #1: No.
Hobo: Okay. See I’m a gentleman, I’m going to leave you alone. You have a nice night.
Girl #1: Bye.
Hobo: Don’t fucking patronize me!
–32nd & 2nd
Old lady: They are going to strike? They should put up signs fuckers! I see you looking at me you skinny bitch, fuck you.
Conductor: The doors are closing.
Old lady: Can’t put up signs but the fucker is telling me the doors are closing.
–F train
Hobo: Don’t worry about the strike, we’ll all fly to work! Flap our wings and fly!
–14th & 7th
Guy: I was there at the strike in 1980; I remember it well. It went on for two weeks. Of course, they could never have it that long now. The population of the city has doubled since 1980.
–Bowling Green station
Overheard by: greek goddess
Conductor: Shit, I’ll get nasty right now. I’ll pull the brakes, see how they like that.
–1 train
Overheard by: Priscilla Castillo
Tween boy: So how’s the strike going?
Bus driver: If there was a strike I wouldn’t be here, you moron.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Sara’s Hot
Fratboy #1: Did I tell you what Danny said to me?
Fratboy #2: No.
Fratboy #1: Pulls me into his room, says, “I have two things to talk to you about. One, we can’t have so many house parties, because the house doesn’t want that. And two, when we have house parties, only I can go around handing out acid, ’cause that’s what the house wants.”
Fratboy #2: Whoa.
Fratboy #1: I was like, “Danny, you have pissed me off.” I walked out of there.
–Crunch, East 13th Street
Overheard by: John Osvald
Old man on pay phone: If I see another nigger on this street, I’m gonna rip his dick off and eat it!
–Chambers & Church
Overheard by: Ziggy
Lady #1: Can you please choose a direction and stick to it? You almost made me tumble down the stairs!
Lady #2: What? I know you are not talking to me!
Lady #1: Yes, I am talking to you, you keep changing your direction left, right, back, and forth! You walk right in front of me as I am walking down the stairs and almost tripped me down the stairs!
Lady #2: Well, if you were not right up my ass, you would not have had a problem!
Lady #1: How can I avoid being up your ass? Have you seen how much room your ass takes up?–
Man: Ha!
Lady #1: –It’s like a wide load truck swerving across the highway with no warning to fellow drivers! It’s huge!
Lady #2: Nasty ass bitch!
Lady #1: I am sure you would know.
–103rd Street 1 station
Counter guy: Who is next on line for a sandwich?…Anybody?…Does anybody want a sandwich?…Okay, who wants a salad?…Anybody waiting on line for a salad?….Anybody want anything?…You, what would you like?
JAP: Excuse me, I was next!
–EEE’s, East 34th Street
Overheard by: SK
Queer: No, thanks.
Flyers woman: You’re a faggot.
Queer: Fuck you, you fucking piece of trash skank bitch. Why don’t you wipe off your clown makeup, get some acutane, and find a real job? Fucking bitch.
–110th & Broadway
Girl #1: Where’s Broadway?
Girl #2: Well, Broadway runs like the entire city from North to South.
Girl #1: But where’s the part that has the famous stuff, like Cats?
Girl #2: Oh, I have no idea.
–Fulton & Nassau
Overheard by: Velzzy
Drunk girl: This fucking MetroCard doesn’t work?
Sober guy #1: The train is about to come, what’s taking you so long, bitch?
Drunk girl: Excuse me cute guy, can you help me?
Sober guy #2: Of course.
Drunk girl: You see, asshole? The cute guy helped me; I’m going to fuck him tonight.
–1st Avenue station
Woman on cell: Oh my god. Screw you. I’m going to screw you with a screwdriver.
–Central Park
