Asians

Oh, Sorry! I’ll Just Go Fuck Myself Now

30-ish white lady: You’re doing push-ups?
20-ish Asian girl, taking off headphones: Yes…
30-ish white lady: Why?
20-ish Asian girl: Um…
30-ish white lady: Do you do karate or Tae Kwon Do?
20-ish Asian girl: No…
30-ish white lady: But you’re Asian.
20-ish Asian girl: Yeah…
30-ish white lady: Why don’t you do Asian sports?
20-ish Asian girl: What?!
30-ish white lady: Have you always stuck with American sports or have you ever tried anything Asian?
20-ish Asian girl: What?
30-ish white lady: Where are you from?
20-ish Asian girl: Manhattan. [Puts headphones back on.]

–New York Sports Club, Crowne Plaza

In New York They Mean the Same Thing

Preppy girl to honking SUV driver: Fuck you!
Asian guy, walking other way: Bless you!

–59th & Park

Overheard by: Just trying to cross the street

Also Why They Bathe Together.

Asian stoner #1: He was whitish. Wait, no, he was white. He and his brother both smoke pot and his parents do too. They even smoke together some times.
Asian stoner #2: So they, like, smoke together and stuff?
Asian stoner #1: Yeah, it's a good way to save money.

–B6, Brooklyn

Overheard by: laughing to himself

Readers: Answer This Overheard Question

Little Asian girl: Mommy, are you Jewish?

–86th & Broadway

All Caste System Questions Aside

South Asian guy: You have a black friend?
South Asian girl: Yeah.
South Asian guy: Wow, I have a black friend too!
South Asian girl: Ah, well, mine is actually really nice!

–102nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: Flyin' Thing

I Notice You Didn't Deny It

Asian girl to friends: What I need is to find a banker.
(Asian banker walks by)
Asian girl: Hey, you. Are you a banker?
Asian banker: Why don't you wait 5 years, lose 10 pounds, and then give me a call?

–N Train

All the Streets Look Alike to Me

Asian girl #1: Where exactly in Chinatown are we going?
Asian girl #2: I have no clue.

–Downtown 1 train

Overheard by: lauren

And the Wig Is Just a Little Something I'm Trying Out

Gay Asian man: Sorry I sound like a drag queen today.
Girl: Are you sick?
Gay Asian man: Oh no, it's hangover voice.

–FIT

Overheard by: Rins

Good Thing He Had Those Ruby Slippers

Asian guy #1: Ok, here’s the train.
Asian guy #2: Dude! No way! That’s the Q!
Asian guy #1: What?
Asian guy #2: Dude! You couldn’t pay me to take the Q! Last time I took the Q, I got on around Canal Street and next thing I knew, I was in. . like. . . Brooklyn!

–Herald Square station

If The Facts Of Life Were Set Today, in New York

Overweight Asian lady: Excuse me, miss, I'm holding the pole, do you mind?
Black lady: I'm sorry, but there's nowhere I can move to.
Asian lady: Well, can you just please not lean on it? You're squashing my hand.
Black lady (looking at Asian lady in amazement at her audacity): What time is it?
Asian lady: I could tell you, if you would stop leaning on my hand.
Black lady: It's rush hour! If you're not ready for this go back to suburbia, bitch! This is what happens on an overcrowded train in New York City. Look at this bitch next to me, she barely fits in the door, and she's not complaining. You know why? Cause she accepts it. Cause it's a fact of life! And you takin' up the whole middle isle…shame on you…lose some weight…go back to suburbia. There's plenty of room there.

–L Train

Overheard by: that's right, rush hour is tight

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