Building engineer #1, watching pretty girl disembark: Pretty girl.
Building engineer #2: Very pretty.
Building engineer #1: You know, I would eat a pile of shit to get to that ass.
–Elevator, 130 Liberty St
Building engineer #1, watching pretty girl disembark: Pretty girl.
Building engineer #2: Very pretty.
Building engineer #1: You know, I would eat a pile of shit to get to that ass.
–Elevator, 130 Liberty St
Guy #1: I love how pretty girls smell good.
Guy #2: Yeah. Have you ever sniffed one?
Guy #1: No.
–Bedford Ave, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Olivia
Guy #1: You know that Anton Webern’s Quartet for the End of Time was performed in a concentration camp? Crazy.
Guy #2: Yeah. He died real weird. I forget how. I think the Nazis shot him.
Total stranger: Actually he was shot by Allied soldiers. He was breaking curfew smoking a cigarette, and they mistook him for his brother-in-law, who was an alleged Nazi spy.
Guy #1: Oh, I see. Thanks.
Total stranger: Any other questions? I just ride this train all day waiting to answer questions on twentieth-century music composition. The next car has an expert on Chekhov, and the conductor studies philosophy.
Guy #1: So anyway, Slavic girls are pretty hot.
Guy #2: Yeah, for real.
–7 train
Girl #1: At least I still kept my perfume.
Girl #2: Oh my gosh, did you leave your perfume behind?
Girl #1: No, I said I brought it with me.
Girl #2: Wait, do you still have your perfume?
–Spring & Broadway
Girl #1: You’re so hot!
Girl #2: [keeps grooving to music]Girl #1: I just want you to have a threesome with me, you bitch!
Girl #2: Sure!
–Houston & Essex
Man in truck: [Honks horn]Rollerblading girl: What the hell does he want from me?
Man in truck: [Wolf whistles] Yeah, baby!
Rollerblading girl: …Oh. Sex.
–50th & Riverside
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Headline by: Jaya
Runners-Up:
· “And That’s How I Met Your Father… and Your Father. Oh, and Your Father Too.” – michael Levy
· “He Puts the ‘F’ in ‘Keep on Trucking'” – LadyP
· “I Knew Those Knee Pads Would Come in Handy!” – jackster
· “In Germany It Means ‘Let’s Play Scrabble Sometime'” – briguy
· “It’s Called a Chevy Pick-Up” – jason
· “Next on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom: Mating Calls of the North American Teamster” – Tom Beckett
· “Pointing at Your Crotch Just Doesn’t Say It Anymore” – Bevan
· “The Etymology of ‘Horny'” – wavyfrog
· “They Usually Want To Discuss Dialectical Materialism” – International Man of Leisure
· “Well That, and Directions to Maryland” – that1dude
· “What’s Wrong With a Little Four by Foreplay?” – Elle
Biker #1: The fact that he’s conservative doesn’t intrinsically make him ugly. There are attractive Republicans.
Biker #2: On unicorns with pots of gold!
–10th & Greenwich
Boyfriend: Y’know, you can tell she was really pretty… What?
–Bodies exhibit, Fulton St
Overheard by: also stared
Guy #1: So I said, “Well, you all are, like, almost hot.”
Guy #2: Wait, why did you do that?
Guy #1: Oh, I wasn’t going to hook up with any of them. So then I said, “See, it’s like you all could be hot. Like she has a nice ass, you have a nice nose… I just wish I could put all of you together and create one big Frankenpussy.”
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Old tourist lady #1: Nobody looks at you here. Nobody looks into your eyes.
Old tourist lady #2: They probably would if we were better looking.
–Midtown
