Thug: Hey, Ma, you are one fine piece of ass. What do you like in a man?
Chick: I’ll tell you what I don’t like: fat mothafuckas calling me ‘Ma.’
–23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Renee
Thug: Hey, Ma, you are one fine piece of ass. What do you like in a man?
Chick: I’ll tell you what I don’t like: fat mothafuckas calling me ‘Ma.’
–23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Renee
Woman #1 after Wicked raffle: Ugh, I can’t believe we didn’t win. It really sucks.
Woman #2: I know, I’m totally bummed out.
Woman #1: Well, that one woman, like, really deserved to win because it was her birthday.
Woman #2: And the rest of them were pretty good-looking, too.
Woman #1: Well, just as long as none of them were, like, ugly. I guess then it’s okay.
Woman #2: Yeah, most of them were pretty hot. I’d do them.
–50th & Broadway
Overheard by: T.M.
Chick: Look, I didn’t paint my toenails red after you made that comment.
Guy: Good, because the only girls who do that are selling their ass on the street.
–14th St & 7th Ave
Girl #1: Oh my god! I haven’t seen you in ages!
Girl #2: I know, it’s been a while — you look great!
Girl #1: You do, too! Your hair has grown a lot since I last saw you.
Girl #2: I know what you mean — it’s all it does.
–E 86th St and Lex
Overheard by: Lisa
Hipster chick: I’d like to get my eyebrows done.
Korean woman: You have boyfriend?
Hipster chick: Uh… no.
Woman: No wonder. You have hairy upper lip.
Hipster chick: Okay…
Woman: No worry — we clean up — you have many boyfriend.
–Beauty parlor on W 8th St
Overheard by: I just came in for a pedicure
Biotech #1: I hate her, she’s so ugly.
Biotech #2: She’s a drag queen.
–Trump Atrium Party, 5th Ave between 56th & 57th
Overheard by: Tim
Girl #1: That’s a cute dog, I have one too.
Girl #2: Thank you.
Girl #1: Is that a toy terrier?
Girl #2: I don’t know. I just know he’s cute.
–Broadway & Spring St
Overheard by: Holden
Queer #1: Get that cab.
Queer #2: We are not taking a cab three blocks.
Queer #1: It’s raining. The hair, the suede jacket.
Queer #3: I know you think we are lazy but it’s all about the hair. If you had any you would do the same.
Queer #2: I hate going out with you two.
Queer #1: You love us.
–In front of XL, Chelsea
Overheard by: Will
Second grader: Earth is the greatest planet in the whole world!
–125th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Yes, I’m his teacher.
Little boy to younger brother in elevator: Stop! It’s like the hospital, you can’t touch anything!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: student
Little girl: Big Brother is watching!
–Franklin St & Church St
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Little boy: Yo, digit, you don’t get any pussy, how you gonna say she ugly?
–Corsa Ave, the Bronx
Overheard by: Edward Carney
Little girl to other little girl wearing school uniform: You look like a woman. Go change!
–116th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Ken Yapelli
Little girl: Excuse me, where is the drugstore? I mean, where are the drugs?
–Duane Reade, 7th Ave & Flatbush
Overheard by: Cupcake
Little boy: I can’t wait to get home so I can scratch my crotch!
–6th Ave & 17th St
Young queer #1: I can’t believe you like going to this leather bar. The guys here are so scary.
Young queer #2: Not all of them. There are a few gems with all their hair, no visible gut and a strong immune system.
–Eagle, Chelsea
