The Shrapnel Took Out Grandpa

Little girl: Mommy, do you have veins in your head?
Mom: Of course you do. That’s how Grandma died; a big vein in her brain exploded.

–Starbucks, 54th & Broadway

Overheard by: Glynnis O

Posted on March 24, 2006
Body Parts, Death, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, Parents, Restaurants & Cafes, Should've Used a Condom

Wednesday One-liners Are for Boobs

Drunk girl: What kind of guys do you like?…What kind of guys do you like? I like guys with big tits.

–2nd Avenue & 11th Street

Overheard by: vegantoast

Posted on March 22, 2006
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Food, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Parents, Park Slope, Poop, Queens, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

How Was Your St. Paddy’s Day, New York?

Hobo: Spare some change for the leprechaun? I just need four dollars to get back over the rainbow.

–1 train

Posted on March 20, 2006
Anger Management, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Celebrities Overheard, Drinking & Drunk People, Hobos, Jews, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Pick-up Lines, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

She Watched All of Batman Forever

Queer: It’s happening again. My eye is totally twitching.
Guy: No, I don’t see anythinig. are you sure?
Queer: I’m sure. I can feel it. I can feel it but no one can see it. It’s twitching.
Guy: I don’t see it.
Queer: It’s not my eyeball, it’s here. This is so gross.
Guy: Yeah, i just don’t see it.
Queer: It is so disturbing. This happens to Sheila, too, and no one else can see. Only it’s half of her face.

–1 train

Overheard by: Cherie

Posted on March 18, 2006
Body Parts, Health and Hygiene, On the Subway, Queers

More Like France

Dad: Do you know what a eunuch is?
Teen boy: Sure, it’s a place in Germany.
Dad: No, it is a man whose balls have been cut off.
Teen boy: In Germany?

–27th & 6th

Posted on March 17, 2006
Body Parts, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents, Should've Used a Condom, Teens, Violence

They Can Help You in Richmond

Dude #1: Yo, what’s up?
Dude #2: I know what’s going up.
Dude #1: The price of stamps?
Dude #2: This elevator don’t go down till the passengers get off. A samurai won’t sheath their sword without the taste of blood…Fool, my penis! Damn, you just broke the elevator. Way to go, homo.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Gary Wattson