Guy: Hey! Don’t touch me! You can’t sit here. People don’t just sit on the floor on the train.
Drunk woman: I have…a very bad…back…
Guy: Then ask somebody to give you their seat. Then go see a doctor.
She flips him off.
Woman #2: Oh no, she didn’t!
–A train
Overheard by: wish I’d been drunk at 9am
Little girl: Mommy, do you have veins in your head?
Mom: Of course you do. That’s how Grandma died; a big vein in her brain exploded.
–Starbucks, 54th & Broadway
Overheard by: Glynnis O
Drunk girl: What kind of guys do you like?…What kind of guys do you like? I like guys with big tits.
–2nd Avenue & 11th Street
Overheard by: vegantoast
Hobo: Spare some change for the leprechaun? I just need four dollars to get back over the rainbow.
–1 train
Queer: It’s happening again. My eye is totally twitching.
Guy: No, I don’t see anythinig. are you sure?
Queer: I’m sure. I can feel it. I can feel it but no one can see it. It’s twitching.
Guy: I don’t see it.
Queer: It’s not my eyeball, it’s here. This is so gross.
Guy: Yeah, i just don’t see it.
Queer: It is so disturbing. This happens to Sheila, too, and no one else can see. Only it’s half of her face.
–1 train
Overheard by: Cherie
Dad: Do you know what a eunuch is?
Teen boy: Sure, it’s a place in Germany.
Dad: No, it is a man whose balls have been cut off.
Teen boy: In Germany?
–27th & 6th
Dude #1: Yo, what’s up?
Dude #2: I know what’s going up.
Dude #1: The price of stamps?
Dude #2: This elevator don’t go down till the passengers get off. A samurai won’t sheath their sword without the taste of blood…Fool, my penis! Damn, you just broke the elevator. Way to go, homo.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Gary Wattson
Guy: That’s why people like me: for my vagina-cleansing properties.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Thiess
Dowager: Today was the first day I took a Celebrex since the pogo stick thing.
–Park & 60th
Overheard by: Frank Laser
Mother: Hmm…remind me to make a stop at The Home Depot on the way home. Your father said he needed a stripper to remove some paint.
–59th & Lexington
