Body Parts

Rapunzel’s Wednesday One-liners

Bag lady: Hey, you guys, can you help me out? I’m really hungry!…You need a dye job, you know! Your roots are showing.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Drew

Posted on April 5, 2006
Anger Management, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, College, Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Fordham, Friendship, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Hobos, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Pop Culture, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Staten Island, Stupidity, The Bronx, Times Square, TV, Union Square and East Village

Wednesday One-liners Use the Blue Parking

Teen girl: So I read that article and cried and cried until my Mom was
like, “Stop crying. You’re retarded.”

–1 train

Posted on April 5, 2006
Arts & Letters, Body Parts, Books & Writing, College, Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Food, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex & Relationships, Sports, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Violence

Yeah, This is Gonna End Well

Crazy guy: Can I taste some of your saliva?
Teen girl: What he just say?
Teen boy: He wanted to taste my salami?
Teen girl: Ha, ha. Say yeah.
Teen boy: Yeah!

–7th Street & 3rd Avenue

Posted on April 4, 2006
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Pick-up Lines, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Teens

“Miss, you’ll have to speak up. You’re all muffled.”

Mom: If you don’t stop acting up I’m going to push you back into my tummy.
Little girl: No you can’t.
Mom: And why not? You came out of me, so I can certainly shove you back in.
Little girl: Because if you do, I’ll start screaming and call the cops on you.

–Daffy’s, Atlantic Center

Overheard by: Need a Belt

Posted on April 3, 2006
Anger Management, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Crime and Punishment, Parents, Should've Used a Condom, Violence

He Got the New Popeil

Girl: Babe, I’m gonna get my tits pierced.
Guy: And then I’ll chop them off for you.

–Loews 84th Street Theatre 6

Posted on March 30, 2006
Body Parts, Fashion, Manhattan, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence

Atlas’ Slutty Little Sister

Chick #1: Oh my god, that girl just opened her mouth so wide she could swallow the world.
Chick #2: Seriously, I think she just swallowed me. And while I was in there, there were three children with me…and a lhasa apso.

–44th & 2nd

Posted on March 30, 2006
Body Parts, Etiquette, Friends, Kids, Man's Best Friend, Murray Hill and Gramercy

Wednesday One-liners Read Vogue

Girl: Did you see those capris? They looked like the girl had her vagina on sideways!

–Windsor Terrace

Posted on March 29, 2006
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Fashion, Ghetto Chicks, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Jews, Jobs & Careers, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Shopping, Stupidity, The Bronx, The Village, Times Square, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vendors & Street Performers

The Dreaded E Cup

Guy #1: Yeah, and she had tits like eggplants.
Guy #2: And they were hairy?
Guy #1: Yeah, the hairs were like this long and black.
Guy #2: That’s fucking sick.

–Penn Station

Posted on March 28, 2006
Body Parts, Fashion, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penn Station, Sex, Sex & Relationships

It Took Him a Whole Year

Guy #1: Man, how you gonna play like a kid came on to you? A four year old can’t even get it up.
Guy #2: How do you know? You hit on a four year old?
Guy #1: Nah, man. I was one.

–Elevator, Hudson & Houston

Overheard by: Michele

Posted on March 27, 2006
Body Parts, Elementary & Middle School, Elevators, Getting Off, Manhattan, Pick-up Lines, Sex & Relationships, The Village

Subway Car: the Talk Show

Guy: Hey! Don’t touch me! You can’t sit here. People don’t just sit on the floor on the train.
Drunk woman: I have…a very bad…back…
Guy: Then ask somebody to give you their seat. Then go see a doctor.

She flips him off.

Woman #2: Oh no, she didn’t!

–A train

Overheard by: wish I’d been drunk at 9am

Posted on March 25, 2006
Anger Management, Body Parts, Drinking & Drunk People, Etiquette, Ghetto Chicks, Trains Not Subway