Hoochie with kids on cell: They gave me four pills for when my period comes on… (looks at cashier) Um… They said it's gonna flood.
Cashier cutie: Looks like the flood gates already opened.
–CVS Pharmacy
Overheard by: Heater
Hoochie with kids on cell: They gave me four pills for when my period comes on… (looks at cashier) Um… They said it's gonna flood.
Cashier cutie: Looks like the flood gates already opened.
–CVS Pharmacy
Overheard by: Heater
Pretty girl: So are the fries here good?
Foreign cashier: Yes, de fries here–they are like your eyes. They are very beautiful. You will not forget de taste.
Pretty girl: Oh, thank you…
Foreign cashier: Yes, you eat de fries, I eat your eyes. Yes!
–Burger Joint, The Village
(toddler in stroller gleefully tosses mangoes from display on floor)
Older brother: No! Stop it! (picks up mangoes as toddler keeps pushing them off display) Stop! We're not buying those!
(mom looks the other way)
Cashier: Ma'am, your child is dropping the mangoes.
Mom: I know.
Cashier: But..
Mom: I know, my son's rude.
Cashier: But the other customers…
Mom: He does this all the time, you should come to my house and
see what he does.
–Gourmet Garage, 96th & Park Ave
Overheard by: Mark
Young suit #1 (holding pack of gum): Do you have change for a hundred?
Female cashier: No.
Young suit #1: Dude, do you have a dollar? All I have is four hundreds.
Young suit #2: Sorry, I only have five hundreds.
Young suit #1: Ah, I hate it when that happens.
(the two suits leave)
Suit #3 (walking in): Do you have change for a hundred?
Female cashier: Don't make me kick yo' ass, brotha.
–Deli, General Motors Office Building
Overheard by: don't look at me, I make $10 an hour
Foreign guy: And listen, this coffee, it's for my friend. And he doesn't want it black, but he doesn't want too much milk in it. Can you handle that, my friend?
Cashier: We don't put milk in your coffee, sir.
Foreign guy: What? My friend needs milk!
Cashier: You put the milk in yourself, sir. It's right over there.
Foreign guy: He also wants Equal. No sugar. My friend, my friend, do you think you can handle that?
Cashier: The sugar is right over there.
Foreign guy: I need a cup for this milk and sugar because I don't know how much my friend wants.
Cashier: I have to start working the morning shift.
–Starbucks, 40th & Lexington
Overheard by: clp
Tween girl to friends: Did you know kissing is good for your health?
Cashier lady: Kissing *who*?
–Loehmann’s Upper West Side
Woman, after knocking over and resetting a large display: Hey, was it set up like this before?
Man behind cash register, counting cash: Oh, I don’t know, I don’t even work here.
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: pete
Male cashier: “WI”? Which state is “WI”?
Female cashier: West Indies?
Male cashier: Okay. That makes sense.
Female cashier: No, wait, is it Wisconsin? Ha, it’s totally Wisconsin.
Male cashier: Who cares, they’re both really far away. Isn’t Wisconsin on, like, the other side of the world?
Female cashier: No, dummy, Wisconsin is in this country.
Male cashier: Oh. I was never good at geography.
–Met Foods, Prospect Heights
Woman: Excuse me, where is your bathroom?
Cashier: I’m sorry, we don’t have a bathroom in this facility.
Male customer: What do you guys do when you have to use the bathroom?
Cashier: How do you think our coffee gets its unique flavor?
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: Making my own Espresso from now on
Cashier: That comes out to $5.50.
[Man hands cashier a $5 with a hole in it.]Cashier: Uh, do you have anything better? You know without a hole in it?
Man: Naw, I got mad at it so I shot it.
Cashier: Ah, totally understandable.
–McDonald’s, Bronx
