I See London, I See France, I See Wednesday’s One-Liners!

Blonde: So, I woke up and Jessica’s underwear was still on my head…

–P.S. 1, Queens

Drunk dude on cell: I want to take the blue panties you left at my place and wear them on my face! … I said I want to wear your blue panties on my face!

–Grand Central

Chick on cell: I do have underwear in my purse in case I need it.

–113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Lady to son: Well, it is never appropriate to ask a woman about her undergarments.

–20th & 8th

Hoochie: He offered me 10 dollars for my underwear, but I wouldn’t do it.

–St. Mark’s & 1st

Overheard by: Nina

Posted on June 26, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

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Woman #1: Wow, those fingerless gloves are great! You look like you could get into a fistfight, but in a totally adorable way!
Woman #2: It would be the cutest, fuzziest, bluest fight ever!

–5th & 22nd

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on June 16, 2021
Clothing, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Violence, Weirdness, Women, Words

I Wear Two Condoms All the Time for the Same Reason

Woman #1: I always wear two bras when I work out.
Woman #2: Two bras?
Woman #1: Yes, a regular bra under my sports bra. That way, I don’t get all flattened out, and besides, I look more natural, don’t you think?

–14th St

Overheard by: stephanie

Posted on June 13, 2021
Advice, Bimbettes, Clothing, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Are One Baaaad Mother– Shut Yo' Mouth!

Cute JAP talking about all the stuff she gets: I don't need a man, I have my mom.

–Rare View Bar

Overheard by: white guy

Blonde girl to male friend: Listen, John. Fifteen minutes, your mom. Fifteen minutes, your mom.

–R Train

Annoying 40-something new mom: A good mom always has a diaper in her pocket!

–Barnes & Noble, 18th & 5th

Overheard by: I Am McLovey

Coworker: I got a bootleg mother.

–Midtown

Window-shopping tourist to wife: Look, honey! It's the dress your mother wore when they buried her!

–Union Square

Overheard by: CJ

Guy: I go over to the house for Mother's Day and she yells at me for not calling her for Mother's Day like my brother did. So I go outside and call her from my cell and say "happy Mother's Day!" and she yells at me for being an idiot.

–37th & 7th

Posted on May 31, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Bars & Clubs, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Coworkers, Death, Girls, Guys, Insults, JAPs, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Subway, Parents, Store, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Words

Rarely is Anti-Semitism This Explicit

Chick #1: He’s so hot.
Chick #2: Eww.
Chick #1: What eww?
Chick #2: Um, he’s wearing a shirt that says “Spin my dreidel, and by dreidel I mean cock, and by spin I mean suck”.
Chick #1: That is a valid point.

–Asylum, Bleecker Street

Overheard by: djlindee

Posted on May 26, 2021
Bars & Clubs, Bimbettes, Clothing, Innuendo, Judaism

Every Episode Of Laguna Beach, in a Nutshell.

Teen girl #1: I'm thinking about buying more clothes!
Teen girl #2: Clothes! Lets go shopping!
Teen girl #1: I know! Dad's money is the best!

–2nd Ave & 12st St

Overheard by: James

Posted on May 17, 2021
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Money & Class, Shopping, Teens, The Village

Wednesday One-Liners for Celebretards

Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise.

–PATH Train

Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, "What, like Gary Coleman?" and I'm like, "No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!"

–4th & 10th

Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It's totally fine.

–E 11th St

Overheard by: j

Suit on cell: And I was like, "Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera"!

–Bedford & 6th St

Black girl on cell: I told you, we're like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia.

–Borders, Wall St

Overheard by: step

Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can't put this on MySpace. I'm wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri!

–Outside Barrymore Theatre

Overheard by: Pasta…Salad

Posted on May 13, 2021
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Balls, Black People, Boyfriends, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Gossip, Guys, Insults, Movies, Music, Myspace, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Politics, Race, Sports, Store, Suits, Theater, Trains Not Subway, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, West Village

That's the Nicest Thing You've Ever Said to Me!

Latino thug #1: It was so awkward–he couldn't hit the high notes.
Latino thug #2: That kid wore the same blue tee for a whole year!
Latino thug #3: Your shirt looks like a Christmas wrapping.

–F Train

Overheard by: Katface

Posted on March 8, 2021
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Gossip, Latinos, On the Subway, Singing, Thugs

But aren’t they the same anyway?

Man in a full-length fur coat: “I’m a socialist monarchist. I believe in helping the people, but the people can’t help themselves.”

— W 83rd Post Office

Posted on January 11, 2021
Clothing, Government, People, Philosophy, Places, Post Office, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Venues

Though Some Of the Trimmings Come from Saturn

Man, after looking around store: Where do you get most of your clothes from?
Crazy store owner with face paint on: The moon.
Man: Wait, where?
Crazy store owner with face paint on: Mostly from the moon.

–Clothes Store

Posted on December 20, 2020
Clothing, Crazies, Men, Questions, Store, Weirdness

Clothing

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