Cocaine

Girl: It smells like blasphemy!

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: I only smelled mulch

Tattooed chick: It’s Christa. You remember, Christ with an A, because I’m so fucking godlike.

–8th & A

Overheard by: Meredith

Guy: She looks like the female version of Dave, which is a bit disconcerting to me…He looks like traditional representations of Jesus.

–Manhattan bound L train

Overheard by: Philip

Guy: Me and Jesus don’t get along.

–W 30th, between 7th & 8th

Overheard by: Maggie

Femme on cell: So, like, our periods stopped at the same time for two hours so we could have sex and I was like, God loves me. Jesus was clearly gay.

–103rd & Broadway

Middle-Aged lady: Yeah, you can’t go switchin’ churches like that. That’s too many different spirits. You’ll be dealin’ with demons and stuff.

–F train

Overheard by: Yanni

College guy: No, really, dude. The guy’s a full-time, licensed exorcist!

–W 4th St A/C/E uptown platform

Overheard by: EJ

Muscular dude: I am devoted to crack but not to Christ! Please explain that to me. I’m a good crackhead, but I ain’t a good Christian!

–Downtown 1 train

Street vendor: NYU students, you gotta love them. They be going through hell and jumping out of windows and shit.

–Spring & Broadway

High school boy: I met him when he was doing coke at my lunch table.
High school girl: He’s a really good guy.

–Bay Parkway, Brooklyn

Overheard by: W

Guy #1: Everyone who has ever worked there has come back and robbed the place.
Guy #2: If it is that bad, you should call the Better Business Bureau.
Guy #1: All the owner does is comp her friends, do coke in the back, and think she is successful.

–F train

Overheard by: Ferris

Guy: So that girl we just bumped into…she totally used to do tons of coke. But I think she stopped.
Girl: Isn’t she pregnant?
Guy: Yeah, well, babies cost lots of money.

–A train

Overheard by: kevin cooper

Woman: What ever happened to Ceci?
Man: Ceci?
Woman: Yeah, Ceci. That little girl that got her fingers cut off. The pretty little crackhead with the beautiful soul.

–116th & Frederick Douglass

Overheard by: Melissa Berry

Junkie lady: Wow, that thing is nice, what year is it?
Yuppie guy: ’06, I just got it.
Junkie lady: ’06? That shit ain’t even here yet. You better put that in a garage, nigga!
Yuppie guy: I don’t have money for that or for you.

–Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: Art Vandelay

Suit on cell: Yeah, so doing coke while speed dating is a really bad idea.

–Madison & 33rd

Overheard by: Johnny Tremain

Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’m the embodiment of crack right now. I’m still drunk from last night. And wow, I just got a bad look from two Mexicans and we know that never happens. Oh my god, another bad Mexican look. What the fuck is happening? Oh my god, a cat…Shut up, oh my god, the world is conspiring against me. As soon as I said “cat” a kid came around the corner. What’s next, a demon? Cats, kids, demons.

–12th & A

Girl: Oh, so he’s a total stoner?
Guy: Yeah, he only does coke when you shove it up his nose.

–14th & 1st