Colors

Female employee #1: Have you seen the “Save Darfur” shirts? I want one.
Female employee #2: No.
(after ten minutes)
Female employee #1: See? Here’s the “Save Darfur” shirt. I really want one.
Female employee #2: What’s that?
Female employee #1: “Save Darfur”.
Female employee #2: What?
Female employee #1: You know, in Africa, where all that genocide is happening…
Female employee #2: Oh. (pause) I love the color!
Female employee #1: Yeah.

–Dressing Room, Urban Outfitters, 72nd Street & Broadway

Overheard by: ewg

Hippie: What color is your aura?
FIT girl: I think my aura has black and white stripes.
Hippie: Vertical or horizontal?
FIT girl: Horizontal…no, vertical.
Hippie: Is that because vertical stripes make your aura look fat?
FIT girl: Yeah.

–26th & 8th

Overheard by: Armchair Messiah

Five-year-old black girl: Let's play I spy!
Six-year-old black girl: I spy… Something brown!
Five-year-old black girl: The chair!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: The door!
Six-year-old black girl: No.
Five-year-old black girl: Us!
Six-year-old black girl: No… We're black, stupid!

–Waiting Room, Eye & Ear Hospital

Woman, gesturing angrily at new subway map: Did you see this? Look at this color! It looks like Kuwait! When I draw maps that's the color I use for desert wasteland!
Bystander: Well, it is Queens…

–1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Older black woman on cell, screaming: There are no leaves on the floor. No! No fucking leaves on the floor. The fucking leaves are green and still in the trees. Did you hear me?

–7th Ave & W 18th

Ghetto Spanish chick on cell: Oh my god, you got your tree? A pink tree!? Say, word… I'ma come by after work to see your pink tree. I never seen a pink tree before! Is it real?

–4 Train

Overheard by: DCBX

Sad 13-year-old to friend, in total seriousness: Right now… Here in social studies… My FarmVille crops are dying!

–Middle school, Coney Island

Blonde hipster to blonder hipster: So I told her, "you can take everything, but at least leave me the front lawn."

–Gramercy

Platinum blonde chick: I had another nightmare last night.
Friend: About what?
Platinum blonde chick: Dyeing my hair black.

–Elevator, Pratt Institute

Barista: See, in this one you can mold your very own candles into the shape of wax pine cones in a multitude of colors.
(quiet drunken silence)
Drinker: Well, which colors?

–Bowery b/w 3rd & 4th

Overheard by: Jen

Miss Labia Science Is Much Sought-After in New York

Female suit #1: You know how irritating it get?
Female suit #2: In what way?
Female suit #1: When it turns all red and hangs off to the side…
Female suit #2: Mine doesn't do that!

–42nd St & Lexington

Overheard by: Michael B

Drunk girl in green #1: I'm not shit-faced.
Drunk girl in green #2: No? Then what are you?
Drunk girl in green #1: Oh! A green truck!

–Park Ave & 34th St

Overheard by: I saw it too.

Girl #1: My friend looks like a penguin.
Girl #2: Like seriously, black and white?
Girl #1: He even owns a full body penguin costume.

–Washington Square