Woman to waiter: Oh my god! I left my mink stole here. Oh please don't let it be gone. (goes to table, finds stole) Oh, thank god I found my mink stole and no one took it!
Woman at next table: Oh, please, bitch, ain't nobody want your German Shepherd!
–The Diner Restaurant, Midtown
Guy on cell: Dude, I am so gonna punish that pussy.
Girl sitting next to him, texting: You know you have a small penis, right?
–L Train
Overheard by: Caged Monkey
Dude in car: Hey! Hey! You lost something! Hey, you!
Bald man on cell: What?
Dude in car: Yea, you lost something! You lost your hair!
–94th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Nadrian
Woman standing in the rain, yelling at boyfriend: No! I'm not walking there! This water is dirty!
Another woman, passing by: Of course it's dirty, it's on the street. Are you fucking kidding?
–86th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: she's not.
Teenage girl, loudly: Emily! There you are! You are so not where you said you were!
Woman standing directly next to her: Shhhhh!
Teenage girl, deadpan: Oh, go back to the suburbs.
(long pause)
Woman: Get a life?
–Columbus Circle
Man on street, arguing: I have a degree!
Man in truck: Yeah, you got a degree. You got a degree in dumbass!
–Amsterdam & 118th
Overheard by: MCLD
Taxi driver: Why'd you double park? I'm trying to get through here!
Guy: Why don't you go suck a dick?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Chica
Guy #1: My ass hurts.
Guy #2: The you should stop being so gay.
–Penn Station
Kid #1: It's so hard!
Kid #2: That's what she said!
(kid #3 high fives kid #2)
Kid #1: That sucked.
Kid #2: So does your mom!
Kid #3: Yeah! (high fives kid #2)
–Metro-North Train
Overheard by: soixantedeux
Little old black lady: Excuse me.
Metro guy in sunglasses with legs spread across three seats: (no response)
Little old black lady: Son! I know your balls can't be that big. Close your damn legs!
(other people laugh, and Metro guy closes legs)
–N Train
