Woman: Do you smell that? That’s the smell of crime and corruption.
Man: That’s the smell of my underwear.
–Union Square
Woman: Do you smell that? That’s the smell of crime and corruption.
Man: That’s the smell of my underwear.
–Union Square
Girl: I sooo want oatmeal.
Guy: I have a George Foreman grill.
Girl: That doesn’t help me get oatmeal.
–1 train
Overheard by: Ethank
Thugette: I just want to go some place where I feel comfortable.
Thug: I just want to go some place where I can piss on you.
–East Village
Overheard by: r. kelly
Woman: No more room! Stop pushing! No more room!
Man on platform: Aw, baby, you don’t mean that!
–7 train, 74th St & Roosevelt Ave stop
Overheard by: Peter Holby
Woman: You don’t remember me, do you?
Older man: Your face looks familiar…
Woman: You saw me running down the street naked last weekend.
Older man: Why would I remember your face, then?
–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Lauren
Boy thug #1: He’s like five foot twelve.
Boy thug #2: Dude, that’s six foot.
Boy thug #1: Wait, five foot twelve is six foot?
Boy thug #3: Yes.
Boy thug #1: Five foot twelve is six foot?!
Boy thug #2: You’re in height denial.
–N train
Overheard by: Mathematical Genius
Comedy club promoter: You girls like comedy clubs, right?
Girl: No, sorry.
Comedy club promoter: You must be from New Jersey.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lana S.
MTA worker, holding bucket: Hey! Buddy, did you take a shit over there by that machine?
Hobo, laughing: Not yet!
–A/C/E/L station, 14th & 8th
Overheard by: JayBee
Bible thumper: There is a reason they call it ‘Black Friday.’ This is the end of times, folks. They are here.
Queer working at Alexia Crawford: Man, I can’t wait to be 60 and bitter.
–Union Square
Overheard by: ritechus
American woman: I heard this song the other day — the lyrics were great.
British man: Hm?
American woman: It was almost as good as that one song — you know, that one that goes, ‘Ain’t no call like a booty call, ’cause a booty call just don’t stop.’
British man: Uh-huh.
American woman: The lyrics are all, ‘Looove is my religion. I’ll take you to the temple tonight.’
British man: Wow… Let’s just try to make some more really shitty metaphors, why don’t we?
–Choga, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Alice
