Woman #1: It smells like church in here.
Woman #2: It really does!
–Elevator, Varick St
Woman #1: It smells like church in here.
Woman #2: It really does!
–Elevator, Varick St
Woman: I’m such a better clown then they are, and I have the nose to prove it.
Man: They have to be more creative. It can’t just be "slip on a banana peel and drop your pants" every time.
–23rd & 9th
Overheard by: lori
Boy: When I was little I used to think that if the planet got heavy enough, it would start to fall.
Friend: You must have been pretty smart to even think that when you were a little kid.
Boy: But what if I still think that?
Friends: Then you're a dumb ass.
–C Train
Overheard by: Rafael DaSilva
Girl #1: Did you hear Nicole has to be topless?
Girl #2: That's okay, I'm a nun!
–9th & Broadway
Girl #1: You know that guy she is with? He's not homeless, but he just got off the homeless track, you know?
Girl #2: Yeah, she's like his little helper.
–Metro North Rail
Chick #1: I’ve become so vanilla.
Chick #2: You’re not! You’re not vanilla!
Chick #1: I so am. Lick me and you’ll get diabetes.
–Bloomingdale’s
Overheard by: djlindee
Southern tourist in pink pants: I don’t see anybody else wearing pink pants around here!
–73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Girl on cell, wearing leggings and a t-shirt: Oh, shit, I forgot to put on pants again.
–Columbia University
Lady in corner stall: Damn, I done sweated through my pants!
–Restroom, 1 Liberty Plaza
Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: bih.
Thug: I’m the only playa in the hood with his pants on his waist!
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: Kayla K
Conductor over intercom: Attention, all crew members! Be sure you have your pants! Hey, Larry, you got yo’ pants?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Geologist
Snooty female 30-something to friend: Pap-smears are, to me, the new fake eyelashes.
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: ianbobian
Aggressive New Yorker: So he pulls out his fucking fake-ass parking pass, and I pull out my gun. And I'm like "you still wanna park here, asshole? Go ahead!"
–60th St & Broadway
Screaming drunk girl to slightly sober guy: If you're going to be fake to me, at least be fake to my face!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Really!?!?
Girl on cell: Okay, call me when you're done entertaining the fake Jews.
–Cafe, Church & Walker
Loud woman: No, it was a fake. I'd have to like, sleep with him to get the real one, you know?
–Hester & Mott
Overheard by: Jensel
Young society reject to same: You’re the psycho-freak out! You touch people’s ears at random!
–AMC Theatre at Lincoln Center
Overheard by: G-Lime
A woman to friend: My friend just became a manicurist. She had her first client today and she only has one hand.
–Forham University
Woman almost forgetting her sunglasses: I would lose my ass if it wasn’t attached to my neck!
–A Train
Overheard by: Don
Student: I think the guy selling cell phones on the street made off with my uterus.
–Touro College of Osteopathis, Harlem
Coworker to another: You have thighs now. When you came here, you had no thighs.
–1250 Broadway
Suit #1 to suit #2: He has the feet of a nine-year-old girl!
–44th & Lexington
Girl: You have got to go inside and tell my boyfriend not to get the nose ring. A real one’s OK, but a fake is just stupid.
–St. Mark’s Place
