Upper East Side mom #1: So then I go twice a week over to the JCC, and after I get back I take them.
Upper East Side mom #2, looking disgusted: You mean the JCC on the West Side?
Upper East Side mom #1: Yes.
Upper East Side mom #2: Oh my god! You are a dedicated mother.
–Dalton Physical Education Center, 87th & 3rd
Overheard by: West Sider
Woman on cell: I would totally bind my feet for a good pair of shoes if they didn't have them in my size.
–Queens Boulevard
Passing hobo to girl with violin case: You have very nice boots… for a musician.
–85th & Columbus
Overheard by: cisium
Lady on cell: Go to the bathroom? Put our shoes on? On my god!
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk woman: I've been wearing high heels so long, my uterus is tilted!
–PATH
Overheard by: Best line I heard all night
Woman complaining on phone: He's wearing high-heels, and it's raining!
–2nd Ave & 12th St
Overheard by: Thommy Tuff Nutz
Man pointing at table: Oh, look — a Nagashima.
Woman: I hate George Nagashima. [Seeing the table] But I love his tables!
–International Art and Design Fair
Little boy, pointing at two midget passersby: Whoa! Mom, look! That is so cool!
Midgets: Haha, dude, that little boy is awesome!
–1221 Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Sellout In A Suit
Hobo: Hey, excuse me, excuse me…Excuse me. I just want to tell you that you are a beautiful girl. Really, no, really, you beautiful. You should go to Hollywood. You stay beautiful, girl, and remember you will always be beautiful…Just don’t get fat.
Girl: Well that’s the most honest compliment I’ve ever gotten.
–F train
Overheard by: kdice
Guy on cell: I eat ass like a champion.
–Havemeyer & S 1st St, Williamsburg
Overheard by: EA
Scary old guy to pretty woman: Oooh, girl, you look so fine. Tell your husband I want to bite your kneecaps off.
–West Village
Lady on cell: Yeah, I’m really hungry, too. I could really eat some nice wallpaper right about now.
–83rd & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Debbie
Woman: I’d rather eat homeless person’s cum than ever eat plain yogurt again.
–Clinton & Stanton
Creepy guy: Let me put it this way: I might not be compelled to eat a puppy, but I just might eat a baby. There’s just something unattractive about them.
–Bus to Penn Station
Mother to screaming child: If you don’t stop crying I am going to eat you!
–100th & Broadway
Overheard by: briana
Bouncer to girl showing ID: You’re so beautiful. I wanna put you on a pedestal… and eat your ass.
–West Village
Overheard by: RBNY
Chick #1: My brother got me a $50 gift certificate for Anthropologie.
Chick #2: Well, I got you a manicure. That must qualify as the best given by someone who didn’t come out of the same womb as you.
–Senor Swanky’s, Bleecker Street
Baby face cop #1: I don't know…I'd like to use the mini marshmallows in mine.
Baby face cop #2: Yeah, I guess so, cutting up the big ones is just a pain in the ass.
Baby face cop #1: Yeah, but still that ambrosia recipe is way better!
–Elevator in Courthouse
Three JHS boys pass a woman in a tight t-shirt and mini-skirt talking on her cell. One stares slack-jawed, then says to his buddies: Wow! That was the new Motorola.
–79th Street between Columbus & Amsterdam
Guy: As soon as I get my unemployment check, I’m going to buy a new TV.
–Penn Station
Woman on cell: I lost my sunglasses and I have cancer.
–34th & Madison
Overheard by: Lisa
Boy, 8: Look Mom! I think Daddy likes the Hummer more than you.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Adam Kraemer
Guy on pay phone: I haven’t decided if I prefer the smell of fresh urine or stale urine. I’ll let you know.
–Hotel Edison, West 47th Street
Guy: I told you what my goal is: to be lazy. 20 years from now, I want to be lazy.
–St. Mark’s Place between 2nd & 3rd
Thug #1: So you know her, then.
Thug #2: No.
Thug #1: But you just said “that hot spic chick.”
Thug #2: No, I didn't.
Thug #1: You did! You just called her “that hot spic chick!”
Thug #2: No, I said “that hot delicious chick.” Because everyone's been talking about her.
–7th & Berry, Brooklyn
Overheard by: EthanK
